Praying for the Gift of Tears

Sometimes others know us better than we know ourselves and while this week, which is my last week at BustedHalo®, will recall much laughter and happiness in celebrating nine years, I know it will also bring many happy and sad tears.

I think that at least one of my friends sensed that and therefore, I received this note via facebook from one of my best friends from college, Joonmo which he received from his pastor.

Some months ago I had a conversation with a lady who was experiencing considerable distress and who was adding to her problems by expressing total frustration with her tears. I don't know if she will see this. I came across it in a beautiful book by Fr. Edward Hays; a book on prayer which includes the following in a chapter called The Prayer of Tears.

"Our Eyes are not only the windows of the soul and organs of enjoyment, they are also the instruments of joy and sorrow. While we feel deeply, the pain of departure, or the intense experience of other emotions, these are not easily shown. Our eyes are sacraments for these beautiful and deeply felt feelings. Even our tears become a way for us to "pray all ways."

"Tears and laughter are universal languages, for they are understood by people of every nation. Crying is part of our basic birth equipment and so is a gift from God. While it's embarrassing, it is also an honest and an incarnational or bodily prayer that reaches the ear and heart of God."

The Prayer of Tears
Lord, Beloved God
since all communion with You is prayer, may even my tears be
psalms of petition and canticles of praise to You.
This is a prayer that You value greatly: the prayer of my tears;
it is a prayer that you always hear, for, You are a compassionate and kind God.
And, Lord, I know you understand - that when I am overcome by
tears - unable to speak or form a prayer - that these very tears voice volumes of verses.
All truly great prayer - rises from deep inside and springs spontaneously to the surface.
It would then seem - that from among the many beautiful prayers,
the scared songs and canticles of praise, my tears my be the best worship of all.
Help me not to be ashamed of them; show me how I can let go of control and
let this prayer of my heart, my tears, flow naturally and freely to You
my Blessed Lord and Divine Lover. In times of joy and sorrow, blessed be my tears,
the Holy prayer of my heart. Amen.


These are thoughts for reflection.
"The heart is the happiest when it beats for others."
"You can accomplish more in one hour with God than one lifetime without Him."
"Jesus is a friend who walks in when the world has walked out."

With love in Christ,
Father Paul J. Henry

Indeed this, as many of those close to me know, describes me and my prayer perfectly. When I am touched by the spirit, I begin to cry and I really don't know why it happens but it does. As a man, it used to be somewhat embarrassing to me, but since I couldn't help or control it, I didn't quite know how to stop doing it--and moreover, didn't know if I should try to stop doing it or hiding my tears.

Some people grew uncomfortable with my tears, shifting in their seats, looking away, or even laughing at bit. Most people though, grew more open-hearted. They seemed to resonate with me most when these genuine tears would flow in prayer or in sharing how God is alive in my life. I indeed noticed that when I just allowed myself to be touched by God's spirit and even explained what was happening, people seemed to be comfortable with what was happening to me.

Besides these beautiful words given to us today by Joonmo's pastor, St Ignatius talks about "the gift of tears." In fact, Ignatius tells us that we should pray for this great gift, of having our hearts moved so much by God that we are moved to tears.

The great basketball coach, Jim Valvano, in his famous speech at the ESPY Awards in 1993 said there are three things we should all do each day, think, laugh and cry. His speech is always worth re-hearing and so, here it is. It's about 10 minutes but it's time well spent:



And pray each day to be as blessed as all of us who receive the gift of tears.

For What Else Shall We Pray...?

I was very moved by the words of Bishop PJ McGrath (pronounced McGraw) of San Jose last week. I got to be a "fly on the wall" while he addressed the priests and deacons of his diocese. And I'll paraphrase what he said here about prayer:

"I thought that prayer would come naturally to me as a priest. And I was very disappointed that it didn't always occur to me to pray each day. And it wasn't because I was avoiding prayer or even choosing something "bad" instead. In fact, often I was "choosing the good." There are so many good things that we do in our church and in our individual ministries that we can very easily let prayer slip our minds as busy people. But I'd like to implore you to pray--to be priests and deacons of prayer. To choose the good that we do and to not pray makes us enlightened social workers at best--and we are different. We are people of Christ. While I was disappointed that prayer didn't come naturally to me as priest, nor has it as a Bishop, I realized that I needed to remind myself to pray. So I began a process of scheduling prayer each day and since my young priesthood I have made a habit of scheduling prayer--of making it a priority to pray. I realize that I have to do that, or I'll get carried away with doing other things that are good, and forgetting to reflect on that and spend time with God contemplating on those good things in prayer and reading God's word."

Indeed. I have the same problem. I don't choose something bad most often but begin to choose "good works" over prayer and in essence we need both in our Christian life.

So I am going to ask a favor of my blogging friends and of our posters. Let us all spend at least one post a day on our prayers. This need not be lengthy but simply post one prayer or a song or a reflection on something that we can offer to God as opposed to commenting on the news or on matters of work or recreation. So I'm going to ask that you keep me honest and rip me when I don't pray on this blog each day. "Hey what happened? No prayer today?" I would appreciate it.

I hope we have at least one other time where we pray in an "off-line" way. For myself, I do try to pray with my wife once a day but we're honestly not the best at keeping to the schedule of prayer. I pray before lunch each day with sacredspace.ie and also with the daily readings and when I can, I do try to make it to daily mass--but I'm not the best at that either to be honest.

Our time is of the essence and should be well spent. So what better post could there be for a blog about God than a brief (or not so brief) prayer?

No time like the present to start:

Today's Prayer:

Lord, today I feel down and disappointed with myself and have forgotten that it is you who are leading me in the path of ministry and life. Help me to be more mindful of your presence in my life especially when I feel like I am lacking direction--as I have felt of late--in all that I do. Make me more mindful of the people who support me and help me be able to see that support when I have the tendency to mistake or misconstrue support as advice, competition, or criticism.

Lead me where you will have me go and I will go as your humble servant. Allow me to be an instrument of your inspiring love and to be joyful in all that I do. Make me a better husband to my wife and help me care for her needs when I grow weary or when I selfishly care only for myself. Make me a better son to my parents, especially to my mother who is presently ill and hospitalized. Guide her doctors to heal what ails her and when you call her home, help me accept that separation with faith in your mercy and love.

Most of all Lord, remember those who go without, who have nobody to help them, nobody to pray for them or with them. May my prayer tonight be not only for me but for all of those who have little hope of prayers for them from others--for you remember all people, especially the poor and the suffering.

I pray this today...in the name of your son, Jesus. Amen.