Twitter: Testing Out the Blog

So twitter will let me push this content using twitterfeed. So I'm trying to see if this actually works. We'll see. Cmon over and comment if it does.

Great Book for Lent: Living Well

From John Roberto, who some may recognize as the former head of the Center for Ministry Development, comes this latest book (more like a workbook) to which I am a contributor. John is now running his own outfit called LifeLong Faith which is a great new venture for him and for people of faith.

Living Well: Christian Practices for Everyday Life presents twelve essential practices for a Christian way of life: Caring for the Body, Celebrating Life, Discernment, Dying Well, Eating Well, Forgiving, Keeping Sabbath, Managing Household Life, Participating in Community, Praying, Reading the Bible, and Transforming the World.

Written for adults, parents, and families to use in learning about and living Christian practices, each chapter presents the Biblical foundation of the Christian practice and a variety of practical suggestions for living the practice and how to make it an integral part of everyday life

.

I plan to use this throughout lent as well with my wife and dog! Order yours today by clicking here

For those interested I contributed to the chapter on discernment.

The 40 Day Giveaway

My friend Frank a Campus Minister at SMU in texas pointed me towards this. I'll keep up with him and BustedHalo's Pray fast give calendar here.



I think it's admirable that he wants to give away something from his closet but I wonder if anyone who wasn't a member of the Oakland A's in the early 70's will want these?

Reminder: Ash Wednesday

Today is the start of Lent and is a day of fast and abstinence.

While I'd recommend going to mass today (As I did at the harrowing hour of 7AM today) contrary to popular belief today is NOT a Holy Day of Obligation. It is truly just the day that marks (literally) the start of lent.

Also check out BustedHalo's Pray, Fast, Give Calendar that helps walk you through some Lenten practices. A piece of today's Ash Wednesday's reflection:

What is it that holds us back from really living? What do we have to die to — or, at the very least, fast from — in order to liberate ourselves from our bad habits? What do we have to give of ourselves to others, to causes, to God, so that we may stretch ourselves into new ways of being? How does prayer center us into growth?

Also...BustedHalo asks you to Show Us Your Ash today by sending us a picture of your ashes. Here's mine:

Bad Homilies

Deacon Greg pointed me to this great article on Catholic Preaching which talks about what I would call "the general unpreparedness" of Catholic preachers.

Listening to sermons at Mass, one often thinks, like the professor in the Narnia Chronicles, "What do they teach in school?" Not that the sermons are necessarily all that bad, but they are rarely as good as they would be had the priest been better taught. It's like listening to a fiddler who hits most of the notes but doesn't know how to keep time -- because, one suspects, he learned the fiddle from an accordion player.

I am not going to deliver the usual lament about preaching (often delivered, a friend reminded me, by lapsed or lukewarm Catholics). When I was an Episcopalian, friends worried that I might become a Catholic always brought up the liturgy and the preaching. Even then this struck me as irrelevant, but they saw the two bodies as brands in competition, and so thought that I was about to spend the same amount of money for a bashed-up Saturn as I would for a perfectly maintained Mercedes. Why endure old Father O'Shea when you can sit at the feet of the Rev. Canon Horace Q. Swizzlestick III, D.D.?

But in my experience of almost eight years as a Catholic, I have rarely heard a genuinely bad sermon, and I have heard a few very good ones. Even some of the most ineptly composed and delivered sermons included some striking insight that redeemed the mess. Perhaps I've been blessed -- or maybe my standards are low -- but I haven't found Catholic preaching to be the horror show I was led to expect, even by some Catholics. (I hear horror stories, and I'm sure they're true, but I cannot tell any.)

Bravo! On Busted Halo® several years ago I had the opportunity to share my thoughts on preaching. I suggested in the article that I will give a particular amount to the weekly collection based on how hard i think the preacher worked on his homily. Here's a few points for preachers to ponder that would garner my top $25 donation:

The $25 Heavenly Homily: This homily breaks the bank (notice that I’ve provided an extra $5 tip over our allotted amount). I’ll eat ramen noodles all week if a preacher can cover these points:

Does it step into the Present? The stories of scripture are over 2000 years old but that doesn’t mean that it was only relevant then. What implications does the story have for us in the 21st Century?

Did I learn something new? A preacher should never reach into the file cabinet for the “canned homily” they gave last year. If I have to hear Fr. Tony’s story about his grandmother one more time during lent, I’m going to rush the pulpit and sack him.
Is it based on the scriptures of the day? The priest who went over the new mass practices issued by the Bishops during his homily took the lazy way out.

Did it mention Jesus Christ at least once? Hello? Isn’t this obvious?

Does it contain an element of challenge? (see the “Snuggles Teddy Bear Homily” below).

Is it vibrant and engaging. If Father talks in a low monotone he shouldn’t wonder why Timmy’s asleep in the 5th row every week.

It’s called a public speaking class—find one.

You can read more "homily types" here. As there are $25, $20, $15, $10, and even the loose change in my pocket homilies.

One more quick story about preaching:

A young woman had her three rambunctious boys (Ages 7, 5 and 3) in the 4th row at a particular parish in New Jersey. Of course, as boys are wont to do, they weren't the best behaved in the pew despite the best efforts of the mother to keep them in line.

One would slug the other and then was kicked in return. Another would pinch the youngest who would then cry or scream and hit the oldest with a missalette. While the family was of course a slight distraction, most of their poor behavior occurred before mass began. During mass an occasional elbow might hit someone and the usual fidgetiness of young boys took hold. So the priest about half-way through his homily bellowed:

"YOU! The one with the three horrible children! You are a terrible mother! I have worked so hard on my homily all week and your children are distracting everyone from hearing it. Take your children and get out! Come back only when they are more well-behaved!"

What an awful man and such an unkind dismissal. It was then that a parishioner rose and stated:

"Um, Father. Perhaps if you weren't so boring and actually had something interesting to say the children would be less rambunctious! And maybe the rest of us would listen if you weren't being such a jerk!"

25 other people left the church with that young woman that day. So for those of us who get the opportunity to preach at mass or as i do in other formats (reconciliation services, etc) it should be a good reminder to us not too get too high and mighty about our own efforts.

The Colbert Report Chaplain: Fr. James Martin!

America Magazine and occasional Busted Halo contributor, Fr. James Martin, SJ, is now the official Chaplain of The Colbert Report on Comedy Central. Hysterical last night right out of the box.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Turning to Religion - Jim Martin

Colbert Report Full Episodes
Funny Political News

Christian Bale Parody
Joke of the Day

Hopefully, he'll be back for many more appearances.

NY's New Archbishop is St. Louis' Favorite Son

From the St. Louis Beacon today:

While the joyful, witty Dolan is a champion hugger, he is no light weight. Brilliant theologians including the late Cardinal Avery Dulles, a Jesuit, considered Dolan an intellectual with a special gift for relating realistically to modern life. Two years ago, the late Dulles told this reporter of his appreciation of Dolan’s ability to put crises and challenges into the context of church and American history.

Friends and associates cite Dolan’s qualities that serve his church well: his down-to-earth friendliness, keen intellect, his analytical powers, his joyful presence, his gifts of mediation and what more than a few call “holiness.”

Sending a fine communicator to media capitol of the world seems a natural, for Benedict whose recent appointments seem to show that he is adept at putting pastorally gifted men in dioceses where their talents can be used.

And for those who wonder about the Bishop's pastoral approach and how he is viewed by his brother priests:

This was Dolan’s way. Twice most years Dolan called Catholic Wisconsin public officials to a spiritual and intellectual discussion. He explained the theology behind church policy statements on capital punishment, immigration, poverty, abortion, war and embryonic stem cell research. Then, he took questions about the theological underpinnings. No fire and brimstone, just thoughtful give and take, elected officials have said.

Dolan is held in high regard by other U.S. bishops. At his very first meeting of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, just three months after he was installed as St. Louis Archdiocese’s auxiliary bishop, the bishops elected him to head the committee on priestly life. Such a committee chairmanship is unheard of for a new bishop. However, in the midst of the sex abuse crisis American bishops expected that Dolan could be a spokesman for good priests, for the joy of the priesthood and could work on policies to improve discernment, even testing of men seeking to become priests. Even then, Dolan was a popular retreat master for priests.

The St. Louis native has given thought-provoking papers at several prestigious Catholic intellectual societies. No matter how deep the academic topic, he always paces them with a bit of his Irish wit. Now he is board chairman of Catholic Relief Services, which serves people of all faiths overseas. He has been a gifted fund-raiser in Milwaukee. He currently serves on the bishops’ conference budget and finance committee.

I have heard nothing but good things. God Bless Archbishop (undoubtedly soon to be Cardinal) Dolan on his new assignment here in Gotham. Read more here including his personal story.

Pray, Fast, Give

As Lent begins its dawn...We have constructed our annual Lenten Calendar--this year with the theme of Pray...Fast...Give.

Check it out:

Traditionally, Lent was intended as a time for personal conversion leading up to Easter during which Christians practiced the spiritual disciplines of Fasting, Prayer and Almsgiving. The belief is that our consistent participation in these practices—like exercise we do for our physical health—is a form of purification that improves our spiritual well-being by stripping away all that is unnecessary and by becoming more mindful of our ultimate dependence on God in our lives.

But instead of chocolate, alcohol or tobacco, what if people thought of fasting, prayer and almsgiving in a broader context? What if those disciplines involved practices like reducing your dependence on electronic devices for twenty four hours (fast); contemplating the 1.6 billion people in the world who have no access to electricity for a few moments (pray); and spending the extra time you’ve saved on personal interaction with someone important to you (give)? Or what if people reduced their carbon footprint for a day by using less energy (fast); then reflected for two minutes on the magnificent gift our natural environment is (pray); and finally placed $1 in a bowl they’ve set aside to collect money to be given away to a favorite charity—perhaps one that plants trees—at the end of Lent (give).

It's Dolan: We told you so

As previously reported here with many hat tips to Rocco Palmo, there's no time like today to blog as Pope Benedict XVI has accepted the resignation of Edward Cardinal Egan of New York and has appointed Archbishop Timothy Dolan the new head of the huge Archdiocese of New York.

Archbishop Dolan is a fine choice to head up Gotham's Chancery. He's by all means a moderate, a voice of reason, a practical and pastoral man who will bring a much-needed public face and good humor back to St Patrick's Cathedral.

Set your calendars for April 15th, as Archbishop Dolan will be installed at St Patrick's Cathedral then. I always find it funny that they say "installed." It's like we just bought a toaster and we're going to plug it in and make sure it works. The only difference is if we don't like this model we can't exchange it for another one!

I've had limited experience with the new Archbishop. Some members of my wife's family live in Milwaukee, so I've had a chance to be there often. During his time in Milwaukee Archbishop Dolan replaced the fairly liberal Archbishop Rembert Weakland . Weakland had been mired by a scandal in which he paid off a man with Archdiocesan funds who alleged that he had an affair with him. So Archbishop Dolan had quite a few fences to mend and he did so fairly quickly and he'd be the first to say, with the help of a great lay staff.

"He appreciates the laity," say sources in Milwaukee. "He knows he needs good lay people with a good sense for business around him so that he can administrate the diocese well."

I would also say that the new Archbishop Dolan will quickly become a media favorite. He's great with a one-liner and friendly and answers questions thoughtfully.

Prayers today for both the new Archbishop Dolan and for Cardinal Egan who will be moving on after cleaning up quite a financial mess in the NY Archdiocese.

Show Us Your Ash

BustedHalo.com asks us to send us your pictures of your Ash for the start of Lent!

“Is the minister giving out ashes making a cross or signing his name on there?” you wonder in a panic. “His thumb must be the size of a 5 wood…is he blind?” you ask yourself. Before you know it you’re at the altar offering your own cranium as a canvas for this zealous finger painter.

Sound familiar? As part of Busted Halo’s Fast, Pray, Give Lenten Calendar we want you to show us your ash. Simply take a picture of your ashes and send us the jpeg at ashes@bustedhalo.com. We’ll post the best ones we receive and enter your name in our drawing for the “Ultimate Lent Incentive” grand prize that includes an Easter basket stocked with a brand new, customized iPod Nano as well as Busted Halo M&Ms, Swedish fish, a copy of The Green Bible and an assortment of other books from our Halo store.

World Youth Day Changes Lives

Charis ministries in Chicago Rocks!

In Chicago we had a great gathering of Young Adult Ministry "partners" --people who do retreat work and are looking at what the future holds for young adults and then for retreat ministry in general.

The Jesuits are behind Charis--the retreat organization that got us all together. And the spirit of St ignatius was clearly present amongst us.

My own thoughts--something is happening here with these ministries. It's the start of a type of grassroots movement. One that goes beyond the usual boundaries that much of church ministry seems to be unable to reach.

But more needs to be done. This conference renewed my energy for much work to be done with BustedHalo and NCYAMA. The future is bright indeed.

Thanks be to God, Stay tuned...much more to come.

Blogging to be lax for the next few

I'm in Chicago at a partners meeting for Charis Ministries--the excellent retreat program. My Dell is having trouble connecting to wi-fi connections and even straight internet connections. I'm using the public computer here in the retreat house so blogging might be restricted to the evenings. Might be time for a Mac?

Hoping all is well in your world.

Rocco Palmo: Archbishop Dolan to NY

Rocco keeps insisting it's going to be Milwaukee's Archbishop to be the next Archbishop of NY. Here's more from him and other Vatican insiders here.

I have not met Archbishop Dolan but inside sources place well within the chancery office there tell me the following:

"He's a very nice man. Funny, down-to-earth, great with the media. Has a good respect for the laity and knows that he needs good administrative people around him. He's a traditional guy but is less traditional than some people make him out to be. He makes a decision and sticks to it."

My only experience of him was when I watched a recording of him addressing the media when he first got the gig in Milwaukee. He had replaced Archbishop Rembert Weakland who was a rather slender man. When a reporter asked him what the main difference between Archbishop Weakland and himself would be, Archbishop Dolan replied:

"Um, I'd say about 100-120 pounds!"

He'll be good here. Looking forward to it.

Do you haveTriskaidekaphobia?

So today is Friday the 13th and let's just say I'm beginning to buy into this. Here's how my day has gone so far:

1) My dog picked this morning to be cranky and clanged around in his crate at 5AM to be let out.

2) My wife let him come into our bed and he pulled her hair.

3) He then decided to "act out" by peeing on my good shoes.

4) I've had a headache and a stomach ache all day.

5) My computer is sluggish and the sound card doesn't work

6) Subway was delayed getting in.

7) I've been waiting for 3 important calls, nothin'

8) I got a package here yesterday but it now seems to have disappeared.

How to go to Confession - Part 2

Pope Assures Jewish Leaders

Pope Benedict talked with Jewish leaders and apologized for the bad relations that Catholics may have had with our Jewish brethren in the past and assured them that Catholics do not deny the holocaust.

The BBC has more:

The Pope told about 60 delegates from the Conference of American Jewish Organisations that "any denial or minimisation of this terrible crime [was] intolerable", especially from a priest.

"The hatred and contempt for men, women and children that was manifested in the Shoah [Holocaust] was a crime against humanity," he said.

"This should be clear to everyone, especially to those standing in the tradition of the Holy Scriptures..."

Pope Benedict admitted that the 2,000-year-old relationship between Judaism and the Church had passed through some painful phases.

But he repeated the prayer the late Pope John Paul made when he visited Jerusalem in 2000, pleading for forgiveness from Jews for Christians who had persecuted them throughout history.

He will also be traveling to Israel in May.

Virtus Training

So I had to go and take Virtus training--for those who don't know what this is it's a training session on protecting children from predators. It's a mandate now in just about all dioceses--although some use other formats.

I wasn't looking forward to it but actually found it well worth spending a few hours of my life on this. We watched two videos which spurred on discussion. Interestingly they had both victims discussing their horrifying experiences on camera and shockingly two abusers were in the video talking about the ways they'd get children to trust them as well as parents. One guy owned a roller rink and another worked at a summer camp. Bone chilling stuff.

The one that stayed with me was a young woman who was having trouble in her English class, so the teacher offered her extra help and then started fondling her. She didn't think her parents would believe her because she was a poor student--so they'd believe her teacher more than they'd believe her.

Folks, I don't have kids, but I do have nieces and a nephew who I care for very much. I can only imagine the horror a parent would feel when this happens to their child. Make sure your children know that they can come to you with any issue and that you'll always believe them. Only 5% of abuse cases brought forth by a child are ever found to be false accusations! Kids might make up things from time to time but they don't make up stuff like this.

Today let's pray for all victims of abuse. I'd like to apologize to victims on behalf of a church that I belong to that obviously didn't handle these abuse cases well. I hope that their pain will be lessened by the work that is being done today to protect all of God's children. I pray too for those who have abused children. The one link we know is that those who have been abusing children were themselves abused as a child. I can only imagine the hell that they have been through and the lack of engagement with that pain has now led them to abuse others. May God have mercy on them, heal them of their pain and allow them to be free from all that traps them in this vicious cycle of abuse.

May God, above all help us protect out children. Amen

When starting a blog..expect something like this

I "rejected" this comment but thought it merited some thoughts.

GOOGLER GOD YOU SURE SOUND LIKE GOD ALMIGHT, UR I HATE ORTHODOX CATHOLICS IS CSHOWING MAN, WHATCHA GONA DO WHEN SSPX IS RECONCILED IN TOTO WITH ROME, UR GONNA HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER NON HETERDOX BISHOP PRIEST AND OR SOCIETY TO KICK ASS . JEEEE WIZ U MAKE ME FEEL LIKE UR THE SAME ENTITIES THAT CRIED IN ANGER UPON HEARING THE NAME JOSEPH RATZINGER, RIGHT AFTER HABEMUS PAPUM. COULD IT BE THAT YOU REALIZD THE WATERED DOWN CUMBYA FEELY FEELY LEFTIST YUM YUM LIBERAL CATHOLICISM IS COMING TO A SCREECHING HALT AND BEFORE PEOPLE LIKE THE HALF BILLION STRONG EASTERN ORTHODOX WILL EVEN LOOK AT THE CATHOLIC CHURCH THEY MUST SEE THAT IT IS RETURNING TO CATHOLICISM, ORTHODOXY AND SHUCKING OFF IT'S PHONE WANNA BE A PROTESTANT CATHOLIC VERSION OF VAT 2. TIMES ARE CHANGING AND IF THE SOCIAL, LEFT, LIB THEOLOGY PC CATHOLICS DON'T LIKE IT, CAN'T STAND IT REJECT IT AND CONTINUE TO BE DISOBEDIENT TO THE POPE, MAGISTERIUM, THEN THE WATERED DOWN LIBERALS OF THE LAST 40 YRS CAN ALWAY JOIN THE "WHAT EVER U WANNA BELIEVE EPISCOPALIANS AKA CHURCH OF ENGLAND AKA ANGLICANS OR BETTER YET U MIGHT BE MORE COMFORTABLE WITH THE UNITARIANS

Um, no. I'm not an Episcopalian. I'm not a Unitarian. I'm not a Wiccan. I don't like the song Kum-by-ya! But as I travel around the country I notice a few things about young adults, in particular, (people in their 20s and 30s who I minister with and to) that I found interesting.

a) The events of the world often shape their religious responses and participation. Columbine, 9-11, Katrina, the Indian Tsunami and Virginia Tech all have had a huge influence on them. Many think that because they have some desire for "traditional" worship practices and like some of the old-school traditions (like adoration, the rosary and even yes, the Latin Mass) that this means that they are harkening back to a time before the council, retrieving some of the ancient rituals from long ago and reviving them. But these people and even their parents in some cases have had no experience of the church before the council, so what is going on is different here. I claim that it is a reaction to a culture of insecurity. People long for security in a world gone mad with terrorism, violence and even natural disasters and they look for religion to provide what the world cannot. Our opportunity as ministers is not to mistake this longing for some kind of political affiliation with conservatism but rather to engage their longing and give them appropriate opportunities for worship that also explain and engages their minds as well as their hearts with these rituals.

I would also say I notice something that a friend recently pointed out to me. At let's say at a Catholic event focused on social justice--there are great things going on, great witness by people living out gospel values and even great community, but there seems to be very little regard for prayer, contemplation and personal piety.

At Catholic events that are more focused on family, life issues or even liturgy there seems to be only a contemplative focus and not much on social justice, community, diversity or culture.

Aren't BOTH of these things important?

Now the writer above, claims that I hate "orthodox" Catholics. I say two things in response.

1) I am an orthodox Catholic. The Jesuits who I met at Fordham were orthodox. The Paulists I work for now are orthodox. As are anybody who are in the big tent of Catholicism. We are all in the SAME church and do the same things and are engaging the same tradition. Being orthodox means being part of the entire experience of our church. It also means that we don't reject the Second Vatican Council which is the exact heresy that the "Bishops" who are running the Society of St Pius X were in fact, excommunicated for. Pope Benedict has already said without an adherence to all that the council has placed into our tradition there cannot be ANY reconciliation (this includes the holocaust in light of the document Nostra Aetate)

2) What I am not is a fundamentalist. I don't read a literal translation of the bible. I don't think that the Second Vatican Council was a bunch of hogwash. I don't blindly toss away people's questions when they ask them and tell them to simply read the bible or the catechism and that their questions will magically dissolve. I engage Catholicism with culture and with experience and try to help people navigate that path and show where they are less divergent than what they may think.

3) I also am not someone who thinks we should just ignore everything that the Second Vatican Council says, but rather we should be critical about what we didn't do well after the council, namely Catechesis, explanation (one Sunday they just turned the altar around!) and a lack of ritual done with mystery and reverence at times. The Second Vatican Council provided some great things for the church that we should not blindly think about tossing away (the proverbial baby with the bathwater) in favor of a reversion to a time before the council. However, we did lose some of what was good about ritual and liturgy from before the council. There was a sense of mystery and rhythm that perhaps we don't do as well currently. Something different and "other-worldly" was going on at mass which perhaps today seems more common to our experience. And yet, people don't know what's going on at mass even when it is in English! So going back to Latin mass may not do anything except serve to confuse even the most ardent mass attender. Perhaps we're asking the wrong questions and I think many of our brothers and sisters who find value in the Society of St Pius X are onto something. Most of these people are not like the so-called Bishop Williamson who denies the value of the second vatican council and the holocaust. I think most of the people who follow the SSPX are simply people who long for a sense of mystery in liturgy and who are tired of having an experience on Sunday that is very much like their experience of daily life. They are looking to TRANSCEND daily life for an experience that brings them into a mysterious connection with the divine.

So no, "anonymous" (who didn't even have the guts to write their name), I don't hate those who use the title Orthodox. I'm actually one of the few people who actually looks at your experience and values it and doesn't dismiss it.

I'm a Catholic. I love our Pope. I love Cardinals (see, here I am with Cardinal George). I love the church. And I hope our experiences can be less judgmental of one another and more focused on providing a window into where we all long for a connection for God.

And I also know how to write in complete sentences.

Remembering Rhythms

I posted this on Amy Welborn's blog today after reading about her own struggle with her husband's recent unexpected death, but thought I'd re-post it.

Amy spoke of the following:

It is surreal and odd. Here one minute, gone the next, without a chance to say goodbye. Sunday’s experience did not really help in that regard for as fearful as I was, anticipating, when the moment came, without getting too specific, the line from the gospel flashed through my soul, “Why do you seek the living among the dead?” I could not connect that experience with the smiling face in the pictures surrounding us and the voice still echoing in my ears and memory. And the fear was gone. But the dissonance remained. And does.

To use the old phrase: It does not compute.

There is a mystery, as I was telling Dorothy, and what I feel driven to do is not “understand” it, really. It is not even to “accept” it. It is something different, and I don’t get what that is - where that space is and what it looks like.

I am opening comments on this post, but with a specific purpose. If you have had similar experiences, or any experiences with loss and grieving that you would like to share, please do. It will be helpful to me and to others.

I have had three of these, as you say, strange deaths in my own life. They never get easy:

As a young man 2 fellow altar boy friends of mine died much to young. The first died at a summer camp. Friends had received a call from him just days before telling them how awful his camp experience was. Days later reports came back that he vomited in his sleep and choked to death. All kinds of stories followed and all of them speculative at best. Was he drunk, was he high, or just sick? His brother was devastated, his mother even worse.

It wasn't until a year later when a simple weekday mass was said in his memory that I began to feel any comfort. Mass was the rhythm in which I came to know James. We served mass reverently and easily knowing cold what we were supposed to do and our motions moved without much thought around them until the odd thing would happen. A friend tripped and fell into the aisle once. A large candle fell and hit a priest nearly burning him another time. We would react and then move back into reverence once the issue died down and probably we would laugh about it later over dinner. It was all about presence. Being present to one another without thought, with ease, with the rhythm of the mass parts--sometimes mundane, but mostly joyful.

I think much of our lives are indeed like that. And even when those lives are taken unexpectedly, disrupting that rhythm, it is the rhythms in which we knew them that keeps them in relationship to us, praying with us, living with us. It is a different experience for us Eucharistic people who need the tangible and visible sometimes to make sense of the mystical. But the mystical is no less present even without those "accidents". These rhythms to me are indeed communion, and they are always revealing God to us in some way--the God who always lurks where we least expect to find Him.

The last of these strange deaths was my college roommate, who was always a sick young man and who many of us expected that he would die young. He had a heart condition and even had a defibrillator attached to his heart our senior year. That machine gave him and extra 3 years or so. He had been doing so well and so, when he told us that he was simply having his defibrillator replaced we all relaxed and thought it was rather routine.

Surgery is often tough to recover from and in this one, Dave, my friend, just didn't have the fight. Without any warning one of our other roommates called and gave me the news straight. Dave was dead. I beat up a studio pretty good that day at the radio station--angry wasn't the word for the emotion that poured out of me--it was more like frustration. I hadn't had the chance to say goodbye. I didn't feel like it was his time yet--although I knew it probably wasn't far off. His parents lost their only child and had given their very lives over to his care for over 25 years and now he was just...gone. Unfair. Even the dog was upset at it.

But what happened next reminded me a lot of this friend, who was possibly the most unselfish person I had ever met. Everyone rallied around each other that week. We made sure people stuck together, got the things done that needed to be done. We shopped for Dave's family and made sure people had rides to all the week's events. We laughed a lot (he was a stand up comic), cried a lot and prayed together. In short, we lived very full days noticing all the small stuff. It was how Dave, full of illness and pain for most of his life, lived each day and taught us how to live. Dave often healed broken relationships between people by simply making fun of how ridiculous arguments could be--so even now, one of us often plays that role when others are fighting or simply acting stupid.

Timing, rhythm, the adding up of time shared, it is often is like a dance and that all gets lost when the music abruptly stops. But the best dancers don't even need to hear the music. They know the rhythm intimately --and for me it has been remembering the rhythms of the shared experiences where I find that we all almost always find comfort and where we will always dance with joy.