Back from Vacation too

After Nicaragua we spent the week at the Jersey Shore, Ventor to be more precise. If you play Monopoly...you'll recognize Ventor as one of the Yellow Properties. It's near Atlantic City.

We were hosted by Marion's Uncle Louis and Aunt Denise who were kind enough to offer us a week at their beach condo. We had a wonderfully relaxing week. Hit the beach, went to a minor league baseball game (The AC Surf--got a cool cap too), won $200 at blackjack, and had a wonderful dinner with Cousin Louis and his wife Amanda at Barrells a fabulous italian joint.

Back home for a week, putting the finishing touches on the new place.

While I'm at it, drop some prayers for my dad whose PSI (a measure that detects possible Prostate trouble) was up at around 10 last week. The doctor examined him and found nothing unusual so he's going to have a biopsy done on Friday to make sure there's no trace of cancer. He should be fine regardless but if you have a safety prayer lying around...please do utter it.

Back from Central America

Nicaragua was a blast once again. A wonderful group of people from our parish (probably the best group yet) travelled down with us. We did some major painting (of the roof, kitchen, office, and chapel), we replaced the horrible florescent light in the chapel and put a less harsh tri-bulb track light in--focused on the tabernacle of course, and redecorated the chapel (it now doesn't look like a figurine marketplace). Of course we also did remarkable work with the children. My wife led a "circle time" with the kids a few times much to the delight of the staff and our crew. They enjoyed singing "dias de semana" (days of the week--which is a song sung to the tune of the Addams Family.

Our evening reflections were great...Missi Decker one of our retreat people from BustedHalo offered a profound reflection on her faith story which set the tone nicely. Susan Mantel, one of the leaders also offered a wonderful reflection on Naming What's Important. Dana Evans and Kenneth Wright ended our week with talking eloquently about suffering healing and hope and our deepest desire. All worked hard on their talks and it showed.

Ok, now for the moment you've all been waiting for...

"But Mike, what about the adoption news??"

We are in line for a child is the short answer. We have placed our request with the ministry of child protection and they in turn will be searching for a child for us. None of the children at Hogar Belen fit our criteria or are eligible to be adopted at this time--although their status could change over time. But most likely, our child will be female, between the age of 1-5 and be from a home other than Belen.

We should know some news in a few months. We now have a lawyer (Nubia, who is fantastic) in Managua who is working hard on our case.

What else? I have some great pictures which I'll post later in the week. Maybe they will be fodder for some reflecting as well.

Subway fears

So last night the usual subway I transfer from to go home got shut down briefly because of the torrents of rain we had.

So I took the D train three stops (or should say TRIED to) to the 7 train to get home.

BIG MISTAKE.

The train got stuck between stations and we sat there for 45 minutes. Mind you it takes me a half hour usually just to get home.

Everyone suspected terrorism---this is what we've come to.

Nicaragua Trip

On Saturday, I head to Nicaragua for our mission trip to the orphanage Hogar Belen in Managua (also known as the land that cool breezes have forgotten).

Please offer prayers for our group of 19 from St Paul the Apostle in Manhattan and for the children and staff of the orphanage.

I'm a bit worried about travelling with the recent liquid bombing attempt in Britian and I'm not easily spooked when it comes to travel. The government has done a good job out of scaring the pants off of us. So also pray for safe travel.

In other news regarding our trip, Marion and I have been recommended to look at other orphanages in the area as they have more children ready to be adopted (abandonment issues are taken care of, no parents, within the right age). Since we're "older parents"-- I'm 36 and Marion is, (WHACK!) ahem, a bit more experienced than I--we need to adopt a child who is around 2-5 years old. So hopefully we will be able to see who our child will be on this trip with God's help. It's been a trying summer for us, between moving, Marion changing jobs, and the strangeness of not knowing where our adoption plans really lie, so pray for us and for our continued committment to one another. We could use some support.

Oh yeah...and if any of you could spare a dime...

We're still taking donations for the trip (we're about $400 short of our $3000 goal).

Send donations to:

Mike and Marion Hayes
Mustard Seed Trip
c/o BustedHalo.com
415 West 59th Street
New York, NY 10019

Thanks,
PM@gg

Young Adult Conference

Just spent the week in San Francisco (a wonderful city--I always ask the question "Why do I live in NY?" when I return from SF.)at the National Young Adult Conference and the NCYAMA Leadership Forum for Young Adult Leaders where I played a fairly major role in both. I presented my findings in Googling God to a group of young adult leaders alongside sociologist Bill D'Antonio from Catholic University and Brett Hoover, CSP (my old boss) and Ken Johnson-Mondragon from Instituto Fe y Vida (Faith and Life Institute) presented great information on Hispanic millennials.

At the conference, Fr. Dave Dwyer and I did a live podcast at lunchtime of the conference and Fr. Dave was one of the keynote presenters (he knocked it out of the park--it's still hasn't landed!). I also served with the wonderful Jenene Francis of Charis Ministries as Co-emcee for the conference.

John Allen, Jr. from NCR and CNN did a phenomenal job presenting "Making Sense of the Vatican." I particularly saw lots of young adults taking notes during his presentation. If you ever have the chance to hear his top 5 myths of the Vatican--jump at the chance. He's a great guy too and has a love of coffee and italian cigarettes.

All in all...a great time had by one and all. Mary Jansen, the director of Young Adult Ministry in SF was a gracious and wonderfully organized host along with her bishop the Most Rev. George Niederhauer, who spent all three days of the conference with us, including a lunch with young adult ministers. Very impressive.

Notre Dame Folk Choir

As a Fordham grad, I'm often irked by how rah-rah Notre Dame all of their graduates often are. At a symposium there once, I remember a Campus Minister cordially thanking an Archbishop for joining them for mass and then added: "And of course we want to thank THE NOTRE DAME FOLK CHOIR!!!)

Choir 1
Archbishop 0

However, all that being said, today's National Catholic Reporter has a cover article on said Folk Choir by my esteemed colleague and Notre Dame Folk Choir alumna, Renee LaReau. A great read and a truer story of young adult faith cannot be found anywhere else.

What does my Ipod know about me?

Mark Mossa over at You Duped Me, Lord and Sr. Christine Wicox over at Sister Christer did this experiment awhile back. You take your ipod (or mp3 player, or itunes) and put it on shuffle. Ask the questions in order below and hit play after each one to receive an answer. When you finish the lot of questions - it play again and see what song comes up and then write your own question for that song.

My results are below

How does the world see you?
If I had a Million Dollars - Barenaked Ladies

Will I have a happy life?
Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye -Beth Nielsen Chapman

What do my friends really think of me?
Falling for the First Time - Barenaked Ladies

What do people secretly think of me?
What do you do with a BA in English? - Avenue Q Soundtrack (I actually HAVE a BA in English)

How can I make myself happy?
Send Out Your Spirit - Jessie Manibusan (Very true)

What should I do with my life?
BustedHalo Cast #33 - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Will I ever have children?
Shopping - Barenaked ladies (Interesting since we're adopting)

What is some good advice for me?
Break Your Heart - Barenaked ladies (True--have learned something every time I've been vulnerable)

How will I be remembered?
We are One In the Spirit - The Path (COOL!)

What is my signature dancing song?
Everyone's a Little Bit Racist - Avenue Q Soundtrack (Yeouch--I hope not! Although this is the kind of a song I like to sing--a Broadway showtune--and I'm not gay-I swear!)

What do I think my current theme song is?
RoadRunner- Barenaked Ladies (We just moved--so that's pretty good!)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Magic - Ben Folds Five

What song will play at my funeral?
Shout to the Lord - Lincoln Brewster (probably true!)

What type of men/women do you like?
Adlib - Barenaked Ladies (them telling jokes, etc on a live album)

What is my day going to be like?
BustedHalo Cast - Episode #45 (we are taping today!)

Where Am I?
One Week - Barenaked Ladies (Listen to the lyrics and everybody who's married will get this one)

And the next song was:
Concerto for 2 Violins in A Major - Vivaldi II
So the question I wrote is: How do I unwind?

Stem Cells: Bush vetoes

The stem cell debate sure is interesting, isn't it. It's even divided the Republicans--who do a darn good job of sticking together most of the time, unlike my fellow democrats.

Some thoughts:

As an adoptive parent to be--I think the President's alternative to have the frozen embryos adopted is somewhat misguided. With adoption laws being rather cumbersome in the United States (and rightfully so--you can't just be giving kids out to any schmoe who comes along), the chances that these embryos can be adopted quickly is probably unlikely. Secondly, the numbers we are talking about are obscurred in the argument. There are many attractive options for people seeking adoption and many of those consist of not carrying and embryo to term (although that would be the preferable option obviously for most people). Is there any guarantee that our President offers to guarantee that he can get all of these embryos adopted?

My guess is no...and it's probably not even close. Perhaps there is a compromise and here's where a slippery slope comes in. I wonder if "embryos slated for disposal due to lack of viable adoption" could be considered for stem cell research instead? We could make every attempt to get the embryos off for adoption and if they fail to be adopted after a viable time--then can they be given for research?

While certainly far less than ideal...it at least offers a compromise and an alternative to the straight disposal of the embryos. It's certainly far from an argument that the church would accept--but perhaps those in the political sphere would listen to this compromise.

As we all know, Governing is choosing and someone always gets screwed. Unfortunately, any way you slice this one--it's always going to be the unborn who lose. With the veto, people in need of the research also get screwed. Everyone loses.

As always there are no easy answers. I'd probably prefer not to do the research on the embryos, because I don't hear from the scientific community any guarantees of success with the procedure. Naturally, I also believe that the most vulnerable need our protection as well. However, if others who don't share our views have the legal right to dispose of these lives--what are we to do?

Why the Church considers Homosexuality disordered

Over at the Spiritual Smackdown on BustedHalo.com, one of the more interesting debates is on Homosexuality. It should be noted that the American Psychological Association has not classified homosexuality as a disorder since the early 70's. Certainly there are psycholgists worldwide who dissent from that viewpoint, even if the majority hold this view.

While to the average viewer, the church and psychology seem at odds in talking with one another, but actually, the church is taking a more defensible position than one would think at first glance. Perhaps even a more charitable one.

In defense of the church, she indeed knows her science well. The church's position is that until something is definitively held by all scientists the church will not opine or teach anything contrary to that view.

As a quick example, Galileo taught heliocentrism (the sun is the center of the universe). Many scientists thought he was wrong--and they believed that the earth was the center. The church also believed biblically speaking, that the latter was the case.

Today NOBODY believes that the earth is the center of the universe and there isn't a scientist that would assent to that position either. Until recently, the same could be said about evolution--until all the creationists found their way to raising points about their viewpoints.

While many, maybe even most, psychologists believe that homosexuality is not a disordered orientation or act...there certainly is not scientific consensus on that point. And that is where the church is always going to take her cue in changing a piece of Catholic teaching.

Will homosexuality ever be accepted in the scientific community as readily as heliocentrism? Probably not. Or at least nobody has come up with an indisputable argument that makes the homosexual act one that is properly ordered..that convinces all scientists to hold this view.

In short, if 4 out of five shrinks think that homosexuality is peachy keen, the church will stand pat until that other shrink comes around to the side of the others.

My thought: Good luck in getting that to happen anytime soon.

Brown Outs

Ugh. Came home last night to a low power brown out which means sleeping without the air conditioner. I guess this is a foretaste to what awaits in Nicaragua.

I awoke this morning to NO power in some places in my house--most importantly the kitchen--which means I had to remove all the perishables from my fridge and bring them into work where the nuns who work in my building (Oblate Sisters of Jesus the Priest) were gracious enough to store it for me in their fridge.

On a positive note...we raised an effortless $400 last night at our fund raiser for Nicaragua. Thanks to the good folks at Local on 53rd and 2nd in Manhattan who graciously offered their place for the shindig.

Amtrak--you've got to be kidding

So our Paulist Seminarian/intern was coming back from the DC area last night and wanted to catch a 10PM train. He pre-bought the ticket on the internet but when he arrived at the New Carrollton train station the doors were locked.

Now you can't ride the train without a ticket--nor can you get onto the track.

One would think that they would have a ticket kiosk outside the station so one could retrieve a ticket and board quickly.

But alas, no. The kiosk is INSIDE THE LOCKED DOORS.

Needless to say, he missed his train and opted for the next morning's train.

Long Island Pool Party

Had fun yesterday at a pool party given by Marion's cousins, (Joe and Jennifer Cavaliere and their adorable children - Danielle, Anthony, and Nicole). Her other cousins and their kids (Nigel and Marie and their children also joined us).

Nothing like a pool on a 95 degree day. Joe is also an expert griller--so we had great hot dogs, hamburgers, and sausage.

It gives me pause hanging out with people who are parents. It gives me a glimpse of how much these children are such an important part of their lives and how much of a priority they are as well. It seems overwhelming at times but I don't know many people who are seemingly as happy as Joe and Jennifer look with their kids...even in crazy and hectic times.

I also have to say that these kids were all very well behaved (and I'm not just saying that). Good parenting was certainly on exhibition and I learned a lot about what being a good mom and dad entails from Joe and Jen.

In short, a good time had by one and all.

Moving

You really know you love someone when you move with them.

My wife and I are presently moving into our new home and unpacking boxes. We are getting on each other's last nerve.

She's cute when she's angry...so it's hard not to laugh when she's pissed at me.

Oh well...it'll be over soon.

I'm just thankful I have a diswasher now.

Ken Lay is not James Byrd

From various wire sources:

At Ken Lay's funeral, his minister the Reverend Lawson likened Lay to James Byrd, a black man who was dragged to death in a racially motivated murder near Jasper eight years ago.

"Ken Lay was neither black nor poor, as James Byrd was, but I'm angry because Ken was the victim of a lynching," said Lawson.

He later said that history will be kind to Lay eventually.

His comments, met by hearty applause, referred to Lay's recent federal trial on fraud and conspiracy charges stemming from Enron's unraveling in 2001 and four charges of bank fraud. Lay had planned to appeal his conviction and was awaiting sentencing when he died.

Now I'm all for comforting Lay's family at the moment of his death and not making him out to be an ogre. But this is a complete farce.

Ken Lay openly cheated, nay, SCREWED an entire company. People lost their life savings because of him. He falsified so much evidence that it was obvious that he would soon be headed for prison for a very long time.

If anything the fact that he underwent so much stress during the last few months could be taken as a sure sign of his guilt and perhaps even (and hopefully so) his repentence.

May God have mercy on Ken Lay, forgiveness holds no bounds with God--and it shouldn't with us. But even with the most merciful judge, Ken Lay will never be James Byrd.

Podcast Awards

One of our loyal listeners nominated the BustedHalo Cast for the 2006 Podcast Awards in the Religion/Spirituality section.

You can too...simply by clicking below and filling out the form.

I'm a home owner

This morning Marion and I closed on a co-op apartment. Yay!

I'm not sure if I should be happy or insensed that I'm now the owner of a hefty mortgage.

We'll be moving to my old neighborhood of Woodside in a few days.

But for now, we'll celebrate with a nice steak dinner with our good friend and moving-helper Steven Bell, CSP.

Retreating

Just back from a retreat that I ran this weekend. Lots of great folks who inspired me with their many thoughts and open hearts for God and one another. Great weather was the icing on the cake.

I was very impressed with Paulist seminarian Steven Bell who is one of the more pastoral people I know. I really think the world of him and enjoy his company in general but this weekend showed me that he's going to be one heck of a priest. Many praised his good pastoral sense as well.

As the director it's sometimes hard for me to get into the flow of the weekend and this weekend proved to be the same. Because I worry about much that is going on--whether people are connecting, those who seek direction from me, the food being prepared correctly, the team leader's talks, etc... I don't get much of a chance to relax myself.

I felt good about the reconciliation service I led with Jenene Francis my collegue who runs retreats for the Jesuits in Chicago. We recreated the washing of the feet and I think many were moved by it.

One challenge for me is often managing others on the weekend. I do a poor job sometimes with being firm with people and giving direct orders. Probably because I like being liked and hate controversy. I had an unhappy cook this weekend--who I love like a sister but who irks my last nerve sometimes. Coupling her with my wife's attempts to be helpful in the kitchen made for some fireworks...some legitimate complaints on the cook's part and some short-sightedness on everyone's part, puts me in a no-win situation. Fortunately for me my priest buddy stepped in and mediated.

They ruined a good book

So I don't make a habit out of reading "chick-lit" as my friend, Brooke likes to call it. But a friend suggested that I read The Devil Wears Prada about a year ago and I absolutely loved it. I mean, it ain't War and Peace, but it told a good page-turning story.

So I took my wife to see the film the other night.

Good film...but different from the book.

ALERT MOVIE AND BOOK SPOILERS BELOW


They left out the best character in the book which is the security guard who constantly locks Lauren out of the building's revolving stantions while she's rushing to get coffee to her complete bitch of a boss. He hysterically makes her sing songs in order to get access to the building. (one scene has her singing Tiffany's "I think we're alone now." Absent from the fim--what were they thinking.

If memory also serves, Nigel is a large flamboyantly gay, black man in the book. Stanley Tucci at last glance was not black, nor very large nor very gay. But I did like him in the movie.

They were far too sympathetic to her boss in the movie...and Andy doesn't even call her a bitch in the movie as she does in the book...which attains her a legendary status among all people familiar with her boss (like the entire world).

Supposedly, the author worked at Vanity Fair. I haven't read the second book, Everybody Worth Knowing yet.

Smarter than a Speeding Quadratic Equation...

Grant Gallicho's review of the new Superman movie is spot on.

Read it here:

Deacon Discernment

Congrats to my friend Wally Sandoval who became a Deacon last weekend. Congrats also goes to his wife, Yolanda, for all she has done for the church in offering to share her husband with the good people of our parish.

I've been thinking about possibly being a Deacon. I've had the opportunity to offer a reflection on occasion, and if I do say myself, I'm pretty gifted at it. I also feel called to serve the church in a greater liturgical way (presently I'm a lector and a eucharistic minister). I'd like to do this on a more regular basis and the only way I see that I could be able to do this is by being a Deacon.

Now I'd have to wait another year because you need to be married for 5 years and be at least 35. So one out of two, at present.

I also am presented with a dilemma:

I live in the Diocese of Brooklyn (Queens is in the Brooklyn archdiocese?? Why? Who knows?) but I attend mass at the Paulist Motherhouse in Manhattan. I wonder how that would work? Would I need to go to school in the Brooklyn Diocese? I'd much rather go to Dunwoodie. Will check it out with my Canon Lawyer friend and report back.

I also hear rumors that Fordham is starting a DMin program in January--that's another possibility for me.

But first things first. I need to publish the book, Googling God before I make any decisons...so pray for me as I take the next year and discern how I'm continued to serve the church. I'm very happy with the Paulists and don't have any intentions of leaving but I see other longings and talents popping up for me...and wonder where that is leading me? Prayer and unceasingly fervent prayer is what will help me discover more---yours and mine both.

More from our guy Rocco

From Whispers:

Saginaw, MI Bishop Robert Carlson is "publishing a pastoral letter (being sent to all homes in the diocese) about his directives for implementation" of the General Instruction on the Roman Missal.

Word is that some highlights are:

- A clarified, standard recipe for Eucharistic bread
- Firm directives on who can and cannot preach [as many of you know, this has been an issue in the diocese]
- All parishes must have kneelers by 2009

---

Rocco doesn't think this is too strange. I beg to differ on a few counts.

1) Does it really matter what bread we use? I suppose they should all be uniform but I prefer ones that don't taste like shirt cardboard.

2) Lay people get screwed again...I continue to wonder why I went to graduate school? Perhaps priests and deacons should give an impramatur to qualified (and I'd stress the word qualified) lay people when they preach at an official event or offer a reflection at mass.

3) I agree wholeheartedly. I looked around a parish I frequent where some angry baby boomers insist on standing and did a head count and demographic count. Almost all the young people kneel. People in their 40s and 50s stand (angry baby boomers) and only a small minority. I'd probably prefer it if we all stood but I don't have an issue with kneeling. For the record, I kneel. And for the record, I don't make the rules--I just comply with them...well most of them. I do my best.

Rocco Palmo on the BustedHalo Cast

The mystery man from Whispers in the Loggia-- the Vaticanista blog that all the cool kids read daily...is featured on the latest BustedHalo Cast.

Check him out by clicking here

Also be sure to vote for the BustedHalo cast on Podcast Alley

The Traveling Death and Resurrection Show

So I've received a novel to peruse from the good folks at Harper San Francisco called The Traveling Death and Resurrection Show by Ariel Gore.

Bizarre. Here's the blurb:

"Orphaned at age four and raised by her black clad, rosary mubling, pre-occupied grandmother, Frankka discovered the ability to perform the stigmata as a way to attract her grandmother's attention. Now 28, Frankka's still using this extraordinary talent, crisscrossing the country with "The Death and Resurrection Show," a Catholic themed traveling freak show and a cast of misfits who quickly become her new family. But when a reporter from the LA times shows up to review the show, Frankka finds herself on the front page of the newspaper--the unwitting center of a religious debate. Now unsure of where she is and where she belongs, Frankka disapppears in search of herself and a place to call home."

Sounds like it's a quick summer read--will review it in this space and possibly on the halo.

New Look

I decided to go with a new hipper look. Trying to look a bt more colorful like the Google logo. Comments, suggestions?

Begging on the Blog

My wife Marion and I are going on our 3rd Mission Trip in August to Nicaragua with our local parish to help a charity called Mustard Seed Communities. The trip is to an orphanage for abandoned and/or disabled children and we’ll be working with the staff there to make repairs on their home and to help with the children’s physical therapy and educational needs. I will also be serving the group as a spiritual coordinator and conducting communion services each day since there isn’t a priest available to join us.

We've been asked by Mustard Seed to ask all friends if they could help support our mission financially. The money goes directly toward our expenses for the trip. The money enables us to buy medical supplies and equipment, diapers, food, clothing, and countless other things to bring with us. In short, we've been asked to raise $1500 apiece for the trip. That's 3 thousand simolians!

We would really appreciate it if you could help us with a donation of any size--no amount is too small.

As some of you know, we’re considering adoption at this point in our lives. Last year we hoped to adopt a little girl, named Patricia from the orphanage. However, Patricia’s mother plans to try to raise Patricia herself when she improves her financial situation. We were saddened that we would not be allowed to adopt her, but we pray for her and her mother daily. The good news for us is that we hear that there are 6 new children down there this year, so we’re excited about the possibilities. We’re praying that God will show us who our child is on this trip and we have great faith that we will be united with a child. We were deeply touched by your overwhelming support and joy of our announcement that we’d be adopting a child from Nicaragua. It comforts us to know that our child will be accepted by such a loving, warm and welcoming extended family and caring and devoted friends.

Needless to say, we both hate asking people to reach into their wallets and their hearts to assist us but, we also know that the children of Nicaragua need this support badly, so we're asking you if you can help, by sending us a donation according to your means. You can send the your checks to us at:

Mike and Marion Hayes
St Paul the Apostle Church
415 West 59th Street
New York, NY 10019

The check should be payable to "Mustard Seed Communities" and our names should be written in the memo.

You can read about the children we are going to help at www.mustardseed.com. Hope you can help and thanks. Please continue to pray for us and for the child that waits for us. Know that we will pray for you with the children on the trip.

Love,
Mike and Marion

More on Matt

Sorry for the week long silence. I was away in Columbus and then had to attend Matt Peterson's funeral. I'm just catching up with office work.

Matt was a very inspiring guy who led our Nicaragua Trip to Hogar Belen--an orphanage in Managua run by Mustard Seed Communities.

Some Matt stories:

Matt was painting the tin roof of Hogar Belen's open air structure. We started very early in the morning because it just gets way too hot. At 10AM we usually quit, but Matt decided to stay up on the roof to finish the job--he only had a small spot left to finish. Here's the conversation I had with him:

Mike: "Matt, your neck is getting really red up there. If you're gonna stay up there you better reapply some sunscreen. Here. But seriously, you should stop...it's really too hot."

Matt: "Thanks (applies sunscreen). I'm just gonna finish this spot."

Mike: "What's that smell?"

Matt: "Yeah I smell it too. (Looks down) Oh shit! You're right I do need to get down from here. My workboot has just melted into the roof!"

I proceeded to help him cut his workboot off of the roof. It smelled like a rotten potato.

------------------

Story two:

Recently one of Matt's doctors moved into hospital housing. She told Matt that she was living on the 37th floor.

Matt quipped: "is it a walk-up?"

---------------------------------

Matt's college roommate is a priest and he did a wonderful job with the funeral homily. He told an outstanding story of how some homeless man had gotten a hold of his name and called their room. Matt insisted that the two of them go to the rest stop he was calling from and try to help him. They sat with him and talked with him and scrounged enough money together to put him up in the econolodge for a night or so. That story typifies Matt. He was a huge contributor to our homeless shelter at St. Paul the Apostle, and had an undying love for the children of Nicaragua.

Recently, Matt's clearly favorite child from Nicaragua, Carlos (pictured above) died of Leukemia. I have an undoubtedly clear image of Carlos running up to Matt at the Pearly Gates grabbing him by the hand and dragging him into heaven, berating God for even considering a moment in Purgatory for Matt, who often commented that he wasn't perfect and far from a Saint. I doubt that God could refuse the pleas of a little Nicaraguan boy with Down's Syndrome who often exhausted all of us, but for whom Matt always had a spare hour.

Today, I truly believe that Matt has an eternity to spend loving Carlos and vice-versa. May Matt's soul and all the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

And you out there...say a prayer for Matt's mom Charlotte, who undoubtedly raised a fine young man who lived an exemplary life that she should be very proud of.

Two Phone Funnies

So I call a colleague today:

"Hi this is Heather and I'm unable to reach the phone right now..."

My first thought: Are you trapped underneath a bookcase?

My second thought: Did you ever notice that 9 and 1 are so far away from each other on a phone pad? If one were trapped underneath a bookcase I would imagine it would be very hard to reach 9-1-1. Lots of people would hit 9-4-4 ugh!

Matthew Peterson

My friend Matt died two nights ago from Cancer. He led our trip to Nicaragua and was one of the most giving people I have ever met.

Please keep him and his family in your prayers.

The Omen vs The Da Vinci Code

Someone mentioned to me recently:

"Shouldn't the church be more upset at "The Omen" than they are about "The Da Vinci Code?"

An astute comment--to say the least.

I thought they should've had more to say about "The Exorcism of Emily Rose" than they did too.

This quote made my day

"You know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show."

-Mitch Hedberg
American comedian (1968 - 2005)

Prayers

I have been asked to cease blogging with regards to the health of Westside Paulist. However, we have been asked to continue to keep him in our prayers. Suffice it to say that he appreciates the prayers and the support. Please continue to keep him in your prayers.

Thanks

Rocco Palmo Whisperings

On BustedHalo we have a series of interview articles by my esteemed colleague, Bill McGarvey, profiling Rocco Palmo, a 23 year old wunderkind, who knows more about the Vatican than many do about themselves. His blog Whispers in the Loggia is a must read for anyone who loves the church.

Check out the interview here

Photo credit: B. McGarvey

BustedHalo Retreat July 7-9

Come one, come all to the BustedHalo Retreat in Oak Ridge New Jersey on July 7-9.

Details are here:

Being fit for Opus Dei and the Da Vinci Code

I saw the Da Vinci Code yesterday...my quick review is "Save your money."

But on a more important note...I feel the same way about the movie as I do about Opus Dei. Simply put, it's not for everyone. I'll explain.

Opus Dei, as many of us know, is a fairly rigorous lay organzation in the Catholic church. They are focused on living out a personal life of prayer, piety, and some would say private penitence in theie personal lives. These are certainly not "Sunday only Catholics." They do practice some very intentional acts of corporal mortification such as the wearing of a cilice (for a few hours each day) and the use of the discipline--a small whip (which suppossedly some say doesn't hurt very much--perhaps even at all. One said that it's like hitting yourself with a graduation tassel, although there are more severe types available). Many live in community in an Opus Dei house. I truly believe that most people in the organization are basically very holy people who are simply trying to integrate a sense of holiness into their everyday lives.

Now there are some who would find this kind of extreme catholicism very, very attractive--I would think many milennial young adults would be quite attractive to this way of life. However, it's also obvious to me that there are certain people in society who are simply not psychologically fit for this type of rigor. In short, some people simply can't handle it. There make up leads them to overdo the rigoristic elements of the organization and it leads them to become over-scrupulous and participate in some psychologically unhealthy activities.

I would say that in the past, the failure of Opus Dei to lead these people to greater discernment about their "fitness" in the organization has led to all the questions about their movement. To their credit, I think this has changed a good deal and it now takes a long time to even join Opus Dei and their methods of discernment have improved greatly.

With regards to the film--I have similar feelings. It's simply not a film (or a book) for everyone. If you're the type of person who lets themselves be taken in by every passing conspiracy theory and never bothers to check the facts themselves--then you should not see this film or read the book. However, if your a person who can really think critically about the Da Vinci Code, then you can probably see the movie and it won't make a dent in how you view your faith life.

So discern and decide...perhaps a better decision might be to attempt to work on discernment in general so that you can be able to handle such matters in your life.

Visit from the kids

Over the weekend, my sister in law and her husband came to town with 4 of their 5 children, mostly to see her father, a recent amputee.

I just got back into town to see the kids before they left for Milwaukee. Katie the youngest, is clearly my favorite and always has such wonderful hugs and stories for me. I keep her picture in my office and people constantly ask if she's my daughter. Once, when I replied that she was my niece, the inquirer shouted, "Oh too bad! She's a cutie!"

That should've been the first hint that she wasn't my kid.

Regardless, a fine Italian meal at our Aunt's house was a lot of fun. I got rather worn out playing baseball (with a plastic golf club!) with the kids. But a fun time that I wouldn't trade for anything. I often see these glimmers of fatherhood in these moments and long for times like these with a child of my own. While all kids can be rascals at times--and I'm sure they are challenging to control. I often wonder who will be the strict disciplinarian in our home and I often think it will be me! More on that later.

My father in law is doing well. Lots of rehab awaits him.

John Allen = More than just a Catholic Journalist

IN a post below I mentioned that I wouldn't consider John Allen a Catholic journalist. That was meant to be a compliment--but I can see how it could be taken in another way.

Allen is MORE than a Catholic journalist. Most Catholic journalists (meaning those who write for a Catholic paper--diocesan, NCR, OSV, whomever) are considered irrelevant in the secular media. But certainly not John. He's the go-to guy for most people. Some others are beginning to make headways into that realm as well. Rocco Palmo is often quoted in the NY Times. Amy Welborn writes op-eds. Even Jim Martin at America magazine and Fr. Dave Dwyer at my own BustedHalo have made the rounds in the media.

However the random Catholic newspaper editors are often viewed as spin doctors for the Bishop of the diocese and every article often reads like "what a great diocese we have."

We need to be more than than to be taken seriously. John Allen raises that bar high.

Father in Law...

Seems to be doing OK after the amputation. He's in a lot of pain but is hanging tough. He'll get a prosthetic leg eventually, but for now he's recovering nicely. We'll probably see him when I return home.

Nashville

I'm in Nashville to give a workshop today with my pal Lino Ruillithe host of Lino at Large and a real nut (got papers and everything!), on reaching young adults through the media.

The Catholic Press gets virtually no young adult readers. It's a combination of young adults not attending mass and indifference to the articles they present. A writer-friend remarks "I have no interest in writing a column for my diocesan paper. I don't want to write articles that make people say 'Oh what a nice young lady!" True enough--the saccarine content that most articles that are aimed at young adults contain is enough to give me diabetes instantly. It's time that the Catholic press takes young adults seriously. Blogger folks like Rocco Palmo have already become so relevant as Vaticanistas that they trump every other Catholic journalist in the country except John Allen (and I wouldn't even call him a Catholic journalist anymore).

So today we'll be prophets..and prophets are always in trouble. We'll see how that goes over.

Some things are simply just nuts

So I've read John Allen's Opus Dei book and liked it immensely. I found it balanced and to the point. However, he mentions that the cilice (the barbed chain that Opus Dei members wear secretly on their leg) is an ancient practice of corporal mortification that even Blessed Theresa of Calcutta used and encouraged.

My comment here is that just because something has been used by many people doesn't mean that it's not downright goofy.

Is corporal mortification something we should use in prayer as Catholics? Or does it hold within in practice dangerous tendencies for some (if not all) users?

I await your comments.

Legionaries of Christ Founder Smacked on the Knuckles

I've been quiet about the founder of the Legionairies of Christ, who was undeniably found guilty of molesting seminarians by a Vatican review. However the Vatican chose to not go forward with a full cannonical process because of his age, instead opting to ask Fr. Maciel to live a life of quiet penitence and place restrictions on his public ministry.

John Allen has details

It seems that the founder got off easy to me. Yet I admire the CDF's mercy in this case at the same time. Some thoughts:

1) If this guy was a Jesuit or a Paulist he'd be defrocked almost immediately and they would never issue a statement about how wonderful those communities are as the Vatican did with the Legion.

2) If it's obvious that he did something wrong than I think he should be forced to make a public apology to those he abused and THEN go live his life in quiet solitiude. But that won't happen because Maciel continues to deny the charges as do the Legionaries.

Sad. Denial is not just a river in Egypt.

When it rains...

I hate to be the bearer of more bad news (or to be accused of using this blog as a dumping ground for my personal problems), but...

My father in law will need to have his foot amputated due to complications from diabetes. Please send some prayers his way (Lou Peracchio).

Fr. Jaime Baca, CSP

Congratulations to the Paulists latest priest, Fr. Jaime Baca. Fr. Baca was ordained today by the Bishop of Grand Rapids, Walter A. Hurley at St. Paul the Apostle Church in New York.

Fr. Baca will serve his first assignment in Knoxville, TN at Immaculate Conception Church. A diehard Notre Dame fan, Fr. Baca will have a tough time when the Irish come to town to play the Vols.

Jaime, as I know him, is a great guy and will be a wonderful priest. He served his summer assignment at St Paul's--my parish--just 3-4 short years ago and I worked with him at World Youth Day in Toronto. He's going to be a fun guy to have around.

Paulist Pre-Assembly

I was very happy to take part in the Pre-Assembly for the Paulist Fathers which helps inform the Paulists on their future direction as a community. We had a lot of good dialogue between us lay leaders and the priests of the community. I'm often impressed with the quality of these things--and I'm a tough audience--I want to chew my arm off at "process meetings" most of the time.

In general, there's not a whole lot to report other than that the Paulists look like they may possibly try to open a case for cannonization for their founder Issac Hecker--who's vision was to evangelize America. Could be the right saint to really give us a great vision of American Catholicism.

Give D.C. a Wuerl

Pope Benedict on Tuesday named Archbishop Donald W. Wuerl, bishop of Pittsburgh, to be the new archbishop of Washington D.C., one of the most prestigious posts in the American Catholic Church, the Vatican said.

Wuerl succeeds Cardinal Theodore E. McCarrick, 75, who is retiring after five years in the job.

More from Reuters:

http://today.reuters.com/news/newsArticle.aspx?type=domesticNews&storyID=2006-05-16T104904Z_01_L16753020_RTRUKOC_0_US-POPE-WASHINGTON.xml&archived=False

I'm a fan of Archbishop Wuerl, who I'm sure also has Cardnal McCarrick's blessing in taking over the post. The two speak highly of one another often. Wuerl has been in Pittsburgh for a rather long time. My colleague Gary Silfkey who is the director of young adult ministry has spoken highly of his now, old boss as well.

Blessings on his ministry to the good people of D.C.

Thanks Mom (and Dad too)

So I went to visit my mother in the hospital yesterday. My mother, as many of you know, suffers from several chronic aliments (rhuemotoid arthritis, severe asthma and a colon ailment) that keep her hospitalized for short periods of time. Roughly every other month she goes into a hospital and is home within a week. It's exhausting for both her and my father as well as my sister (who lives nearby).

While in the hospital, I found out that my cousin, Peter, was also in the room right next door to her. Peter, three years my junior, has been battling drug addiction for most likely several years (heroin mostly). He nearly died of an overdose complicated by pneumonia--thus his recovery in the next room from my mother. Please send prayers his way and for all those who battle addictions. While drugs are a massive problem in our society we do little to empathize with those caught in addiction's grasp. Many of us do not understand addiction. Addicts are powerless over the drug that controls their lives. They indeed DO want to cease using but are powerless to do so. In short, seclusion and therapy in a treatment center is about the only thing that can break the cycle along with repeated meetings in an addict's group (like AA or NA). The brain needs to be re-programmed in some way.

On the ride home I talked with my wife about my troubled cousin and the rest of my extended family, many members of whom battle similar issues with alcohol and drug use. Many have children out of wedlock and faith has taken a back burner at best to other competing needs. Peter's mother, my cousin Maureen, brought Peter's neice with her. She's a brilliant child for her age and I'm praying that she doesn't get caught in the mix of this horrible fixation on drugs, sex, and booze that has captured many of my cousins.

I began to think about my own life on the ride back as well. I wondered why I, nor my sister, didn't end up addicted to drugs or alcohol when seemingly many members of my family did so. What kept us out of trouble's way? The answer to that question lies with my mother and father. Strong Catholics are they at 78 years old and they raised us to be the same. What's more is that they got me involved in many activities from a young age--perhaps too many--and even today I take on a lot of tasks and activities. But that's what kept me off the streets and also kept me within the watchful eyes of my mother and father who always played some role in the activities that I was partaking in. Whether it was driving me to a baseball game, camping with the Boy Scouts, or helping with the Altar Boys bake sale, they were always there for me. They also made sure that I went to Catholic school for 7th and 8th grade because they feared the public middle school. When I think back on it, I remember hating the kids at the Catholic school so much--but I know now it was probably the best place for me. Many of my friends who, shall we say, strayed from the fold, began to do so in Middle School. Cutting class, smoking, drinking, drugs, and getting pregnant can all tell the story of many an adolescence gone bad.

Yet my parents would have none of it for me. They made sure I went to college, they encouraged me to study hard, and they gave me a faith that continues to enrich my life--so much so that it is the base for my career.

So on this mother's day and merely a week after my father's 78th birthday--I thank them for being such good parents. It's probably a big reason why I long to be a parent myself. I had two great models who gave all they had for me.

What more could a child ever ask for?

Thanks to all

For all of you who wrote to me and my wife with regards to our adoption loss, we extend our most heartfelt thanks.

Today I feel better. I had a rough yesterday to be honest. I serve on a committee at my alma mater of Fordham and our tight knit group was very helpful and supportive to me. As have been my friends Donna, Jeff, Bill, Al and Greg and of course, my Paulist friends Frs. Brett Hoover, John Collins and Dave Dwyer. My wife's family has been an incredible source of support for us as well.

As many of you know, we visit the dump, La Chureca, in Nicaragua(pictured, right)--
where people are living-- as an additional outreach to the people of Nicaragua during our mission trip to the Orphanage. There is no more frightening sight than to see children running for the garbage truck so that they can be the first to get the "good garbage." My biggest fear is that Patricia's mother won't be able to turn it all around and that Patricia will be forced to live in a place like La Chureca--which is basically a death sentence waiting to happen. Cancer, AIDS, and other diseases are rampant. Women are preganant everywhere you look--mostly because of the rampant prostitution there (men pay prosititutes more to have sex without condoms), but also because sex is a pleasure that doesn't cost anything. Poor people can still make love and make babies--which in turn keeps them poor because then they have another hungry mouth to feed.

We don't really know poverty on this scale in the United States. However, there are people who live like this in our own country and while not as obviously widespread as it is in Nicaragua, Haiti, or even Africa, it does exist here.

People often plead with God asking "How could you let this happen?" with regards to the poor. In turn, God has the same question for us:

"How could YOU let this happen?"

Indeed.

Tax cuts approved

From Today NYT:

The Senate voted 54 to 44 on Thursday to pass almost $70 billion in tax cuts, mostly for the nation's wealthiest taxpayers. The action ensures that virtually all of President Bush's tax cuts will be locked in place until after the next presidential election.

The measure, which the House passed Wednesday, would extend Mr. Bush's tax cuts on stock dividends and capital gains by two years, until 2010, and shield about 15 million taxpayers for one year from an increase in the alternative minimum tax.
The vote, largely along party lines, was a significant victory for Mr. Bush and beleaguered Republican leaders, who had viewed the tax cuts on stock market profits as a defining party issue and had credited them with jump-starting economic growth and reducing unemployment over the last three years.

More

Hayes' comment: The rich get richer and the poor gets screwed once again. I wonder what the senate's approval rating will be soon?

Does wiretapping make us more secure?

A friend told me that many people he knows would endure allowing their phones to be tapped because they feel it "makes us more secure."

I'm of two minds here:

1) The concept that it makes us more secure is laughable. Hello? They're tapping your phone! How does that possibly make you more secure? The next step is someone will be sleeping in your basement.

2) However, why are we concerned about people tapping our phones and knowing our business if we indeed have nothing to hide. The old axiom, "Tell the truth and they can't hurt you" is true only up to the point of telling the truth about things that are legal.

So what's the real issue here? Interestingly enough, liberal minded people are using a conservative argument on this matter with regards to keeping the government out of our daily affairs.

My final thought: My suspicious nature wonders if the government would use the information it finds through the wiretapping justly. Therein lies the larger argument. We live in such a litigious society that it breeds much contempt in so many ways.

Let us pray for the ability to trust one another and for our government to be able to instill that sense of trust in all of us. Amen.

Tim Radcliffe

An excellent article recently by Tim Radcliffe on healing divisions within the church. He is former head of the Dominicans.

Click to read

In God's Hands Now--Regarding Adoption

Semi-bad news from Nicaragua:

We most likely will not be able to adopt the little girl we would like to bring into our home.

The director of the orphanage where the little girl my wife and I (Patricia, pictured with me playing peekaboo, left) want to adopt informed us today that she has not been declared abandoned by the state--which means her mother (who is still alive but is unable to care for her because of the dire poverty that she lives in) would have to allow us to adopt her and she has not been willing to allow her to be adopted. She could change her mind if she would consider meeting us in August--but chances are that she has made up her mind already. She believes that she may one day be able to reunite her family. So things aren't quite over yet, but the fat lady is stepping up to the mic.

So the probability that we will adopt Patricia is now slim. As the director mentioned to us, "It's in God's hands now. Whatever he wants."

Needless to say I'm sad. Sad because poverty has placed this little girl in this predicament. Sad because I probably won't get to raise her and sadder still that she is most likely going to live the rest of her life in an orphanage with infrequent visits from her mother. I'm angry with God because I know one of the things I struggle with is patience and I think this is a cruel way for me to have to learn it.

We've already considered some other options to become parents...the orphanage got a new 7 year old girl recently so she may need a new family and we could provide her with that option.

So today, pray for Marion and I, please and for all the little ones who need someone to care and love them.

Attending Wakes

The most important thing that you can do for someone is to attend the wake of their parents. At least that's what a Jesuit told me while I was an undergraduate at Fordham. He often encouraged us to attend wakes and funerals of our classmates' parents and grandparents. It was something that many of us found as a difficult thing to do.

So I have tried to heed his words and have found the good Father to be very wise indeed. Yesterday, I attended the wake of my college roommate's father. He was a wonderful guy, who flew for Pan-AM for ages, retiring, not easily, in his older years. He learned much from his travels which literally took him all over the world, making friends and acquaintances that he would cherish and tell stories about every time I had the pleasure of being with him.

Obviously the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree. This big, warm, Italian family (Joe--the roommate in question) has 7 brothers and sisters all of whom are close with one another, is a collection of brilliant, friendly and respectable people--just like dear old dad.

Joe's dad lived to be nearly 89 years old. When I met him he was 71 years old with his youngest son just starting college, and I, sharing a room with his crazy rebel son. These were two men who came to know one another well--traveling to Australia, starting a family foundation, generously helping many in need with the family name curiously in the background--never hogging the limelight.

Often, we are all dumbfounded at what we should say or do at a wake or funeral. I keep a running collection of stupid things people have said to me at a wake or a funeral. We are all uncomfortable with death and it seems to bring out the worst in us...we are often at our most awkward moments while others are similarly at their most vulnerable. I can even remember saying some weird things to people myself when they lost a young person--especially if they died unexpectedly (see, 11, Sept. 2001).

So what should we say when someone's life ends?

The same Jesuit had the wisdom that I close with today:

"You need not say anything. In fact, saying something is often meaningless as people tend not to remember what you said..."

"What they do remember is that you were there."

If you would, please remember Phillip Patane, Sr. and his family today in your personal prayers.

And when you can...attend a wake.

And speaking of Amy Welborn...

She's featured today on BustedHalo.com with regards to the DaVinci Code and Mary Magdelene.

Speaking of the Jesuits...

The British Jesuits have an excellent podcast called Pray As You Go--check it out.

The Jesuits

Hat tip to Amy Welborn who beat me to this article in America.

Interesting. I have no doubt that the ideals expressed by the Jesuits may be taken superficially by some...but that wasn't my experience, nor that of my undergrad contemporaries with the Jesuits at Fordham, nor is the experience of my friends who attended Fordham Prep for High School. I found that many of us were taught these ideals in the strictest sense--challenging us in many ways and providing much fodder for our personal lives of prayer.

We were taught a good balance (in college, mind you) by both those in campus ministry and those in the classroom of both contemplation and community. AND it was emphasized that we needed both and furthermore, that integration between one's personal piety and the world we lived in was more than neccessary.

We live a life as prayer because we are followers of Jesus and Ignatius. We treat others a certain way because of our belief--our lives are changed once that belief takes firm hold in our mature selves. We are no longer children but men and women. And in maturity we do not simply exist for ourselves but rather we need to be for others.

Once I heard this in college, my faith radically changed. For the first time, I saw people who were truly living the gospel (not all mind you, but more than you might think--and certainly more than I had experienced in the church I belonged to up until my time at Fordham, which tended to be exclusivist, judgmental, and in more than a few ways racist and class restrictive).
The Jesuits made me see Christ and dare to become like him. Most importantly, they encouraged worship and contemplation daily. Setting time aside each day for an Examen, mass, and other sacramentals.

Everyone else just told me to worship Christ, punch my Sunday time card and forget about those outside the walls.

Now this should be interesting

Hugo Chavez to be received by B16 at the Vatican.

Death surrounds me

This weekend my college roommate's dad, Phillip Patane, died after a long illness. At nearly 90 years old, he lived a very full life, filled with joy and laughter. His large italian family will miss him much as he was certainly the strong patriarch of his clan. I will miss him and pray to him often. (Henceforth, he is known as St. Phillip of Brooklyn).

Also over the weekend, Sr. Rose Thering died, who Renee LaReau profiled on BustedHalo some time ago, whose doctoral research was in part, responsible for the issuing of the Vatican II document Nostra Aetate ("Our Time"). She is a hero to many of us who long for more ecumenical and interfaith dialogue.

Lastly, Fr. Bob Moran, CSP a wonderful Paulist died about two weeks or so ago and I haven't had the chance to blog about him much. Bob was a character! I'll best remember him for the line he quipped in the early days of the construction of our website. Our web design consultants were encouraging us to call our website "90 degree turn" (www.90degreeturn.com).

When we pursued why they were even thinking of calling the site that they came up with the following scenario:

"Well, when you're at a crossroads and are trying to make a decison, you don't want to make a 180 degree turn because you'd be going backwards. You really want to make a slight turn to the left or to the right--about 90 degrees."

So I'm thinking that they're crazy....

They continue: "But if you go 90 degrees upwards... now you're going in the direction that God wants you to go."

The good Fr. Bob Moran, God rest him, remarked:

"Do they really think God's up there? The Russian Cosmonauts proved that theory wrong long ago!"

I continue to giggle everytime I tell the story.

The three all had a great ferocity for their God. That fire needs not be estinguished with their deaths. Rather, their lives will continue to emblaze our own as we remember the great love they had for their family and friends, their church, their God.

Eternal rest grant unto them O'Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May their souls and all the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

Saint of 9-11: Fr. Mychal Judge

Check out Fr. Chris Devron's column on BustedHalo today and the website that promotes the movie.

Also the book put out by Paulist Press on him is excellent and a young adult retreat center in New Jersey has been named in his honor.

I truly believe that he was a Saint..a man who struggled with his own demons and his own troubles with who he was and in doing so...and allowing that to change him...he brought many people to God.

Going to try to see this movie tonight.

Condi Rice at BC

Condi Rice was named this year's commencement speaker at Boston College, which is a Jesuit University for those who may be unaware.

Now naturally liberals are up in arms about her being selected because of her role in the war in Iraq. Interestingly, conservative also snub her because she is "mildly pro-choice."

As usual it all comes back to abortion for the conservatives who seemingly still have their head in the sand (or perhaps the flag?) about the war (and in fairness, many liberals have it in the sand on abortion too).

Why wouldn't people just protest her IDEAS instead of protesting her right to speak. The media's going to cover this event--give them something to cover.

The older I get the more I'm convinced that people really think way too simplistically most of the time.

Googling God the Book UPDATE

Fr. Michael Kerrigan at Paulist Press called yesterday and said that my revised manuscript has been approved for publication pending review for some stylistic changes (e.g. using endnotes instead of footnotes; only using the first name of the young adults I interviewed as examples).

We should have a ballpark on a publication date soon--so stay tuned.

NCYAMA Board Meeting

Sorry folks for the lack of blogging the last few days. I was in San Jose at the board meeting of the National Catholic Young Adult Ministry Association, of which I am President. We are going through some changes right now as an organization and Paul Jarzembowski (from Spiritual Popcorn) and I were working in taking the lead in making those changes happen. It was a long process with little down time.

Thanks to Jenene Francis from Charis for helping to facilitate the process and to Sister Christine Wilcox (from Sister Christer) for the use of her community's vacation home.

The rest of the board members did a wonderful job and I am confident that NCYAMA is once again headed in the right direction.

Former CDF #2 sez: Boycott Da Vinci Code Movie

From Religion News Blog:

A Vatican official reportedly called for a boycott of the upcoming The Da Vinci Code film Friday, saying it contained "slanderous" offences against Christianity that would have provoked a worldwide revolt had they been directed against Islam or the Holocaust.

http://www.religionnewsblog.com/14467/Vatican-calls-for---Da-Vinci-Code---boycott

A bit much if you ask me. Only morons take fiction for reality. Rich Leonardi who usually bashes me on Open Book regularly mentions:

"What if someone wrote a 'good, suspenseful, and thrilling read' that told lies about your mother -- would that be O.K.?"

In a word, yes. I know they're lies, she would know they're lies, and anyone who "matters" to us would know they're lies. IT'S FICTION. Someone wrote a story that was a page turner for a good deal of the dopey public who fails to read critically. So what? If you shut up about it sales would stop climbing. Instead everyone shouts about it and Dan Brown is adding a wing to his home for all his awards.

Seems to me people who get worked up about this are overly concerned with the opinion of others.

Sant'Egidio Conference in DC...

was a raging success says my colleague Fr. Michael Hunt.

Check it out and throw in some prayers for Fr. Hunt who is undergoing cancer treatment soon. He has been a great friend to me and has thoroughly advised me on my upcoming book.

Y'all: Singular or Plural?

Ok--I'm from New York...born and bred just north of the Bronx in Yonkers and then lived in Queens or Manhattan after my Fordham graduation. So the vernacular of the South is not my forte.

I was amazed to hear from Dr. Mickey Corso, a Fordham professor in their Graduate School of Religion (of which I am a grad) at a recent symposium, that the term "y'all" is singular. "So how y'all doing?" is a term address to an individual and not to a group.

If that's the case than the million dollar question is:

Do you know what the plural of "y'all" is?

A free BustedHalo t-shirt to the first one who comes up with the right answer.

Answer will be posted in the comments below after the correct one is mentioned.

NCYAMA Board Meeting

I will be flying tomorrow night...but should be able to continue blogging while on my trip.

I am headed to Santa Cruz, California for our annual board meeting of the National Catholic Young Adult Ministry Assoication, of which I was recently elected Board President. The organization is at a crossroads of sorts, but is still healthy and growing in new directions. We'll be determining which course the organization takes at this meeting so we ask for continued prayers from y'all.

Learn Gregorian Chant

This intrigued me and I may even indeed try to attend this if I can fit it into my busy schedule. I've been trying to convey to different people that reverence and quiet are imperative in today's liturgy for the faithful. At the same time, community is an important element. I think chant provides us with a good mix of contemplation and community (because everyone can sing this stuff--rather easy).

While I like some more contemporary music at mass I also have seen it denegrate into a concert that lacks the participation of those in the pews. Cantors become "look at me" singers and don't engage the congregation in singing themselves. Others over-do it and hold "practices with the community" before mass begins. I sometimes want to scream "Can't we just pick music that's easy to sing."

I don't think I have a particualrly good singing voice (speaking yes; singing not so much); but some say I'm better than I give myself credit for. I think when I concentrate on singing, I'm not terrible.

And thus, I think chant would be an easy solution for those of us who aren't complete singing buffoons. The rhythms of it might calm our nervousness about singing and the mantras themselves can be soothing in general.

I can see these being used on Sunday as:

"A centering call to prayer or introit (but someone needs to call the community to silence beforehand--the choir can't just start chanting)."
Certainly at communion or post-communion.
Offertory
Responsorial Psalm (duh)
And even an opening or closing hymn if we were trying to maintain that reverent attitude as opposed to something more rousing. I still think there's room for that as well--just not a healthy diet of it.

Anyway--check this out.

Today's Proverb

I thought I'd bring back a shorter version of my old Proverbial Wisdom postings:

Proverbs 1:7
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Interesting. The more we are in awe of how much we are NOT God...the more we truly can know who we are. Fools spend their time thinking that they can grasp all the knowledge and power that only God can hold.

The key however is prudence and balance. We very easily can become complacent and say "I don't need to know anything because only God can know it all. I won't search for any meaning in the world at all."

Instead the wise one is one who discerns well. Who picks his battles and searches for meaning in a way that honors the awesomeness of God while continuing to find themselves less than but at least somewhat awesome themselves!

Pittsburgh Embraces Lay Ministry

In response to shrinking numbers of priests, Bishop Donald Wuerl of the Catholic Diocese of Pittsburgh will begin appointing "parish life collaborators" to coordinate pastoral ministry in parishes with no resident priest.

They can be deacons or laity, and many are likely to be sisters. The plan was unveiled yesterday at a priests meeting. Up to three pilot programs are expected to start by year's end.

Oh to be in Pittsburgh! I wonder how much the pay is? Could a "family man" afford to be a PLC in the diocese? Benefits? I'm starting to become a big fan of Bishop Wuerl.

More here

Til Death do us part...or until myspace takes your page down...

Interesting story of how young people who have died are being immortalized on their myspace pages.

More Here

Googling God the Book

I just sent an updated manuscript to Paulist Press. Fr. Mike Kerrigan, my editor just returned from a much needed vacation, so he should get back to me next week on how good or not so good it is.

The book generally is in three parts:

1) Who are young adults? Especially on the differences between milennials and Gen X Young Adults. And what is working well in ministry?

2) Interviews with young adults I have worked with in my ministry nationwide on what are their religious longings and experiences in ministry.

3) A how-to section on young adult ministry complete with some resources.

Hopefully it will be out this fall or winter 2007.

Adoption Update

Not much word from Nicaragua about the little girl we're hopefully going to adopt.

Her mother is still alive but is unable to care for her or her other children (two boys, I believe, both older). The director of the orphanage where we travel each summer is hoping that her mother will allow us to meet with her to discern if we would be able to provide her daughter with a better life--one that she could simply not provide her with in Nicaragua.

I have to say this whole situation breaks my heart continually. We (my wife and I) basically have to ask a woman if we could take her daughter away from her. She has already determined that she can't care for her but is desperately trying to do what's best for her while staying in minimal contact with her. It's obvious to me that she loves her daughter but is woefully unprepared for parenthood. This is all too often the case in third world countries like Nicaragua. The poor continually are caught in these situations.

Marion and I are open to a kind of "open adoption" where contact with Patricia's birth mother could continue. I feel bad for Marion too, because you know that the words "you're not my real mommy" are more apt to angrily come out towards her than they will towards me as the papa (the bio-papa's whereabouts are unknown).

We ask humbly for your prayers. We will have all of our answers in August when we head down for our trip. We have been asked to raise $3000 ($1500 each) for our trip to the orphanage so if anyone would like to make a donation please email me at mike@bustedhalo.com and I'll send you the address. All proceeds go directly to Mustard Seed Communities and are earmarked directly for our trip where we'll be helping to build a new structure for pregnant teens this year hopefully along with several smaller projects. I'll be one of the spiritual guides again this year hopefully with our new priest-pastor at St. Paul the Apostle.

Anyone interested in going on the trip? Let me know: mike@bustedhalo.com

We don't need no education....

So my wife is a pre-school teacher and I'm finding that in today's culture pre-schools are horribly understaffed. There are far too many children in every class and far too few teachers, especially in independent pre-schools that are inexpensive and in the inner-city.

It's a double edged sword: Trying to keep the prices down for parents (mostly mothers) who have to work and can't afford sitters for their little one and then nickel and diming the staff by short-handing the staff and making them do more with less. It gets to be overwheming for teachers.

When I was young I didn't attend school until Kindergarten. My older sister had me reading at the age of 3 or 4 and spent a lot of time teaching me letters, numbers, and other comprehension tasks. I owe her big time. It's the individual attention--called mentoring--that little children really need--time spent with an older mentor--parents preferably, but not neccessarily. In schools today, teachers spend more time putting out behavior problems that rambunctious 3 year olds have started rather than giving them that much needed individual attention. Why? Simply put, children under the age of 5 are not meant to be in school for any extended period of time. They have no attention span at that juncture and get cranky and foul mannered if left in school too long.

It's time for parents to start parenting and for businesses to start paying for extended maternity leave (3-4 years please).

Community of Sant'Egidio: Hearing Good things

In celebration of the 20th anniversary of the historical Prayer for Peace held Assisi, Italy, in 1986, the Community of Sant'Egidio, Archdiocese of Washington, Georgetown University and The Catholic University of America, are sponsoring the International Prayer for Peace: "Religions and Cultures: the Courage of Dialogue," in Washington D.C. today and tomorrow.

Check out more on BustedHalo.com

BustedHalo Cast

The latest cast is up: Click here

Interview with Carlton Cuse the Executive Producer of TV's Lost

July Retreat

For those on the East Coast...

BustedHalo Retreat: July 7-9--Mt Paul Retreat Center, Oak Ridge, NJ.

Details here

Tell me who your friends are...

Tony Snow named press secratary by President Bush.

So now we have a FOX News reporter telling us more lies.

AIDS and Anglicans in Africa

Interesting story from the LA Times here:

When it comes to buying condoms, Gideon Byamugisha prefers to dart in and out of the drugstore, leaving his car engine running for a quick escape.

Between a rock (Peter) and a Hard Place (pun intended)

Vatican officials say condom-AIDS study still in consultation stage

By John Thavis Catholic News Service

VATICAN CITY (CNS) -- Vatican officials said a study on condoms and AIDS protection was still in the consultation stage and that Pope Benedict XVI had yet to decide whether a document would be issued on the topic. The sources said there were strong arguments for allowing married couples in which one spouse is infected with HIV, which causes AIDS, to use condoms as a disease-preventing measure, when it overrides any contraceptive intent. On the other hand, the sources said, the Vatican is hesitant to make any move that would be seen as an endorsement of condoms as a method of disease prevention, because condoms do not offer 100 percent protection from AIDS and could encourage sexual promiscuity.

More here

United 93

The movie opens today on the plane that crashed in Shanksville, PA on September 11th.

My friend Debbie Welsh was the first class flight attendant on that flight for United. She was a sparkplug and had a beautiful voice that graced our parish's choir. Word has it that Paul Greengrass (the director) has done a marvelous job with the re-creation of this horrible event. I plan to go see it tonight or tomorrow and will report back.

In general, I'm wondering if folks think it's too soon to have a movie about this event. It seems that movies on Wars and other tragedies often are not immortalized on film for some time usually. But I'm in favor of this one coming on the heels of the event, since I think the filmmakers will want to recapture the memory of this before we forget too much.

Blogging Renews

Daily blogging here has resumed! I have dedicated some time to this once again after finishing the manuscript for my book: Googling God.

So look for several church news items here each day henceforth!

Thanks,

Mike

Holy Thursday

Are You Going to Wash My Feet?

Lessons from a gritty ancient ritual

By Mike Hayes

When Jesus knelt at the Last Supper and began to wash the feet of His disciples, the disciples were dumbfounded. Washing feet was the lowest task given to a servant—some of them would even refuse to do it, leaving the matter to servants who were new to their role.

The disciples wore sandals, exposing their feet not only to the dust of the road but to animal waste as well in the open marketplace, where livestock often roamed free. Back in their time, one’s feet were likely to be an even less appealing body part to wash than they are today.

In the gospel story, Simon Peter, the brashest of all the disciples will have none of it—and who could blame him? Jesus is the proverbial elephant in the room and Peter is the only one with the guts to say what everyone in the room is thinking.

“Are you going to wash my FEET?” The one who Peter calls master and Lord is going to perform one of the vilest, filthiest jobs there was. Peter knew that his feet were filthy and he didn’t want anyone, much less, Jesus to be anywhere near them.

Sidestepping

We can get pretty dirty feet too. But perhaps even more likely is the fact that our feet can also get us into a lot of trouble…taking us places where we know we shouldn’t go. I often run away when my parents need me to care for their needs now that they’re getting older. My feet failed to move for years when I was in relationship that was unhealthy and a job that was unfulfilling. My feet do a good job of avoiding the homeless on the city streets. And when my wife needs me to be by her side, my feet can find plenty of other places to take me instead.

Jesus knows all about feet. In this scene from John’s gospel, Jesus is in complete control and knows that he is about to die and the feet of these “friends of his” are going to head for the hills. They will run faster than ever before and when they finally stop in that upper room, they will be unable to move—locked in their own fear.

"The one who Peter calls master and Lord is going to perform one of the vilest, filthiest jobs there was. Peter knew that his feet were filthy and he didn’t want anyone, much less, Jesus to be anywhere near them."

Bare Feet in Church

In my parish we wash feet at the Holy Thursday evening Mass. The people in the pews have the option of coming forward and washing a partner’s feet after a select group are washed by the priest. One of the more touching moments for me was when my wife washed my feet. My wife knows me better than anyone else. She loves me without reservation and some days I wonder why. She knows that I’m grumpy in the morning, can be quick tempered, don’t have a whole lot of patience and get disappointed easily when things don’t go my way. She knows that sometimes I don’t want to listen or feel like talking when she needs me to be present for her. She knows that I’m a workaholic and that my ministry often takes time away from our relationship. She knows all of my struggles to simply be a good husband. And yet…she got down and washed my feet easily and without hesitation. No deals, no strings.

Learning to Care for Each Other

My wife and I both know that neither of us is perfect and because we both know our own faults, we can wash each other’s smelly feet without much embarrassment—with a certain freedom. While we never get tired of saying “I love you,” marriage can be tough. We need patience for one another when times get messy and difficult, or when one of us does something to annoy the other. We know that we’re going to have to wash each other’s feet over and over for the rest of our lives.

And that is exactly how God loves each and every one of us. And He never gets tired of doing it either.

That too is the genius of Jesus. He knew that these men were going to need to pick one another up every time they fell. He knew that in order to trust their own gifts and talents to be able to wash the feet of the poor and the destitute in their pain and embarrassment and shame—without making judgments or feeling superior, they must first learn to care for each other.

We all become scarred from the bumps on the road where we have walked. And Jesus knows how hard that road is as well. His feet walked that same human journey that we do—filled with human fear and disappointment. His feet walked the road to Calvary and became broken and bloodied.

Walking with the Wounded

But the story doesn’t end there. He crossed from death to new life so that we might do the same. So, when we face pain, we stand a bit stronger the next time out. We don’t step into the same traps that we did before. When we find that we can’t always do it alone, we get help from a friend or mentor who helps us walk that journey. And when our feet take us to those uncomfortable places, where we’d rather not go—when we face something like the death of a loved one, or the loss of a job, or the break up of a special relationship, later on, after healing and licking our own wounds, we are better prepared to walk with those who are also wounded. We help them walk on their journey when they cannot walk for themselves.

It is the experience of Jesus who washed feet, that reveals to us how much our God indeed loves us and who is able to touch the most vulnerable parts of ourselves and make us whole.

And just like Saint Peter, all we have to do, is let him.

Gay Adoption: Good or bad idea?

From Ignatius Insight:

"The chief administrative officer of San Francisco’s Catholic Charities is an openly gay man who has a daughter he adopted four years ago with his homosexual partner.

That fact summarizes the challenge confronting the new archbishop of San Francisco, George Niederauer, in the face of the burgeoning controversy over Catholic Charities’ adoption placements with homosexual couples.

The controversy was brought to the boiling point by a March 9th directive from Archbishop William Levada, former archbishop of San Francisco and now prefect of the Congregation of the Doctrine for the Faith. Levada acknowledged that children had been placed with homosexual parents under his watch, and said it could no longer occur...."

Here's the problem...because gay marriage is such a political football and because homsoexuality is often not studied to the extent it should be no studies with regard to children who are raised in "gay families" have been explored in depth. Most are merely anecdotal.

The harshness of debate is possibly (note the word possibly, please) doing much harm to children who could benefit from having a loving family caring for their needs. Living in an orphanage simply sucks--no matter how good an orphanage is. Neglect is always occuring depite best intentions.

Now we should also note that other studies on adoptees state that they simply do better with a mother AND father...although some single parent homes do exceptionally well. By and large though, the former is cited as being true. As adoption has come more into vogue, I suspect that the numbers of how well children actually do come crashing down--naturally all adoptive parents can't be good ones.

As usual, nobody's listening to one another; nobody's exploring these issues deeply; and therefore we're not looking at the big picture.

Does Magister have the goods on the Pope or not?

Over at Amy Welborn's Blog, Open Book, which I enjoy from time to time.

Kevin Miller (who you can find at Heart, Mind and Strength) and Rich Leonardi are going at it in the comment page here:

The long and the short of it stems from the whole Pro-choice politician fiasco where the US Bishops were at odds with one another about refusing or not refusing communion to Catholic politicians who favor abortion. At the time, Cardinal McCarrick sent a memo of the impending policy that they drafted to the then Cardinal Ratzinger to see if it was in line with the directives from the Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith. Short answer from Ratzy was that they were in compliance.

So here's the skinny on the argument:

A blogger named Magister has posted information that basically states that Ratzinger was upset with the USCCB's directives.

Kevin Miller points out that the then Cardinal Ratzinger sent a memo stating that the USCCB policies were very much in accord with their directives on the matter of pro-choice politicians and the Eucharist. I think any moron could tell that the memo was authentic and we don't really have any reason to think otherwise. If it wasn't wouldn't Ratzinger rant and rave that he didn't write that?

So why then does Magister suggest something to the contrary--which is what I believe Kevin is suggesting is a question we should be asking. To me, that sounds legit. What is Magister implying? Was there another memo? Was Ratzinger under pressure to give assent to the policy by someone? What?

And if we look at the context more accurately than Rich even came close to doing we'll see something very interesting and sheds light on McCarrick positively here:

1) The memo acknowledges receipt of the policy from McCarrick to Cardinal Ratzinger. So it's McCarrick who was making sure that the USCCB had all it's ducks in a row and not Ratzinger issuing some kind of theological smackdown (which could be a new fox series starring Kevin and Rich on Tuesday nights at 9:00PM).

2) With that in mind, why would McCarrick share the memo? They were already on the right track. There wasn't a need to share the memo.

3) With regards to Magister, if he is stating that Cardinal Ratzinger was upset with the USCCB then he needs to produce some evidence to that fact. Anything else is simply poor journalism and smacks of libel. Kevin is right to ask that exact question. Where the heck is the proof that Ratzinger was unhappy?

There isn't any. Unless Magister has an ace up his sleeve. In the words of Jesus: "If I have spoken wrongly, testify to the wrong; but if rightly, why hit Me?"

Democrats' Statement

I posted this at dot commonweal today...but it bears repeating.

55 Catholic Democrats in the House of Representatives came out with a "Statement of Principles"

Perhaps the Democrats are taking a page from the GOP, who regularly co-opt the language of Catholic Social Teaching (how many times have we heard Pres. Bush say "culture of life?").

The document as a whole, is good and I found interesting and was surprised that they included abortion in their argument. However this may be an exercise in futility.

People are voting republican in our country because they have a longing for security (with 9-11 and Columbine and now Katrina and the Tusnami ramping up people's fears). While Bush made a mess in New Orleans this may not resonate with middle class voters because they do not have a vital concern for the poor (unfortunately). Middle class folks would have been able to flee Katrina as opposed to the poor who were exploited in the worst way in this disaster. So the Democrats co-opting Catholic Social Teaching in an effort to link Catholic voters with a concern for the poor is likely to fall on deaf ears even amongst the most pious conservative Catholics.

The GOP wins not because the majority of people are religious but rather because they are selfish--plain and simple. They are concerned about their own individual lives and religiously they only concern themselves with their immediate need of security. So 9-11 effected them because of its randomness. Anyone could be in a random building that gets hit by a terrorist. Same is true for Columbine...any high school kid could get shot up any day of the week. The majority of the rich and middle class escaped the natural disaster of Katrina and the tsunami was half a world away--so they will naturally have less impact.

The Democrats have two choices: they can start talking about "smart security" and ensure Americans that they will remain vigilantly on guard with regards to securing the nation, or they can attempt to convince Americans of the need to be concerned with one another.

It looks like they are going with the latter...and that's a tough road to hoe.

Adoption, buying a home, and more

The blogging has been light for the last month because I've been sequestering myself in my office and trying to finish my book, Googling God for Paulist Press. Only few re-writes needed on two chapters at this juncture from where I sit...hopefully the editors will agree.

Adoption for us took a slight turn south. Our agency in Nicaragua informed us that Patricia, the little girl we are looking to adopt has not been declared abandoned. Her mother is unable to care for her because she is financially unable to do so, but she stays in contact with her from time to time at the orphanage. The director there believes that adoption is the best option for Patricia and is going to ask the mother to consider it.

I've gone through the mill prayerfully about this. I love Patricia and I think that I would be a good dad for her...and Marion, my wife would be a great mom for her as well. But how do you ask a mother for her child, even when you know that she is unable to give her the care that she needs. She's still her mama! That is a bond that is impossible to break and nor would I want to. Yet, I know that Patricia needs more than she's getting in Nicaragua and I can provide that for her. So my prayer today is that God will show us what is best for this little girl and will move the heart of her mother to discern that as well.

On the homefront, I think we may have found a co-op to buy with the help of my sister and brother in law. We will need a 2BR apartment in order to move forward with the homestudy for adoption and I think I found on that I can afford.

Was interviewed by New York Magazine today about catholic blogging. Seems they think the blogging awards were a big deal. Dunno. I wasn't waiting with baited breath on any of them with the exception of my buddy, Mark Mossa, SJ's award for blog by a seminarian. Check out "You Duped Me Lord."

I'm a racist

Ok—here’s a moment of clarity for me from my Examen today….
I was house hunting in Woodside, Queens and As we walked back towards the subway, we witnessed a man (for lack of a better term, as you will soon see) punch a woman in the stomach after she has spoken harshly to him. This was in broad daylight and there was a child walking with them (presumably theirs). The woman doubled over in pain and began sobbing. I stood there dumbfounded and began to walk away. I wish I had a baseball bat because I think I would've used it on the guy. Unfortunately, I was afraid to do anything at the time out of my own fear.

Well…that moment popped up for me today when doing my Examen. For those unfamiliar with the examen, it is a method of prayer that St. Ignatius of Loyola developed where you rewind your previous day in your mind, as you would view a film. You try to see what really happened in your day. You become thankful for each moment, make amends to do better the next day. It has helped me determine much about the way I act towards others and has made me be honest with myself.

I should also say that the moments before that moment popped up as well. I had just finished pointing out to my wife how the neighborhood changed as we walked closer to the train. I even said that as you get closer to the train station you start to see "fewer white faces and more bodegas and graffiti."

Well…that’s kind of a racist statement…don’t you think? (Cue the Avenue Q song)

The big moment of clarity came when I realized the man who punched the woman was WHITE. Even more telling was that the woman was Hispanic and that he punched her in front of her kid (possibly their kid).

When I talk about "bad neighborhoods" I often assume that it will be the minorities who will make a neighborhood crime ridden. Interestingly enough, in this neighborhood, it was “whitey” that committed the only crime we saw that day. And this neighborhood that we're condisering living in is a nice one at that.

The worst part about this is that we are trying to adopt a little Nicaraguan girl into our home. As we move forward and try to bring this beautiful girl into our lives I think I need to be more sensitive to the subject of race. I think we both grew up with some overt racism in our lives…maybe even in our own families (I know there was in mine!).

I pray today to be more sensitive about sweeping statements. That woman could easily have been my own daughter, precious and beautiful and beaten by a thoughtless and vile person who happens to share my skin color and probably my ethnicity.

My thoughts about crime existing near the subway is accurate. However, it could just as easily be crime committed by a white man.

Father, forgive me. Make me a better man...a better father to be. Allow me to unite people instead of dividing them and to see all people as you do with love and preciousness. May I teach my daughter to be these lessons in my home and may we all live in the peace and harmony which you provide us. Amen.

Way too busy

Sorry for the lack of Blogging lately. Been sequestered finishing my book, Googling God and working on another article for The Way, the magazine put out by the British Jesuits.

Anyway, I will be commenting more on B16's encylcical soon. I wanted to share some articles that I've done on BustedHalo.com for today.

An Atmosphere of Faith: A Portland parish becomes devoted to the environment

Radical Forgiveness

And from our "Busted" series--an interview with Garry Wills.